I awoke Thursday morning as I do most days, alone and with a variance of back pain, only to stretch it out briefly, grab the Star's sports section and make myself a stiff coffee. Typically, I flip to the back page of the section where the Star lists both the local forecast for the day and the continental and international ones.
After scanning the European temperatures in a jealous fashion, I noticed that the Star's meteorologists, using what I can only imagine to be the foremost scientific means, had predicted a high of 7 degrees.
Considering the delayed nature of this winter and the seemingly inevitable onset of spring, I was initially excited, only to look outside and see a light dusting of snow covering the grass.
Are you kidding me?
The forecast didn't come close to mentioning the potential of snow. I understand there are likely a fair deal of variables involved in predicting the next day's weather, but were it not for all of these scientific measures I have no understanding of, could it have not have been as accurately predicted by a lay person such as myself.
What's the bloody deal with meteorology?
My father's line of work requires a fair deal of planning and preparation based on the weather, and he uses the Weather Network's visual forecast updated in real time. They have on more than one occasion completely missed the boat, despite having every practical means of assessing the weather available at their fingertips.
It's my opinion that meteorologists should join the ranks of many of the world's obsolete professions.
They can take a place in the unemployment line next to the alchemist (Medieval medicine men) and Dish Turner's (crafted dishware out of wood). There's usually a blacksmith or coppersmith out front having a smoke. They make for good company, but their anecdotal references of the gool ol' days can get a little depressing. The Fagetter (made-up faggots into bundles and sold firewood) is a little testy and prefers to be left alone, and on that note, steer clear of the Sexton (an obsolete church position) only for precautionary reasons based on a really poor name for a job title all things considered.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
"The Barn on Bathurst"
What a beautiful day - the sun is shining, I won a Juno for best french rap recording, my back is fucked and the Michigan Daily ran a lengthy article on March 21st about the hockey tradition at my alma mater, St. Michael's College School in Toronto.
As a graduate and former athlete at the school, to this day, I bleed Double Blue and am very proud of the 5 years spent amongst some truly wonderful people. Despite the fact that I suck at hockey, I greatly valued attending a school with its own arena and spending phys-ed classes skating on my ankles and becoming one with the end boards thanks to some cocky Italian kid who thought hitting from behind was a legal hit.
Michigan Daily - "The Barn on Bathurst"
Enjoy the article - it's a long one - and have a brilliant day folks.
As a graduate and former athlete at the school, to this day, I bleed Double Blue and am very proud of the 5 years spent amongst some truly wonderful people. Despite the fact that I suck at hockey, I greatly valued attending a school with its own arena and spending phys-ed classes skating on my ankles and becoming one with the end boards thanks to some cocky Italian kid who thought hitting from behind was a legal hit.
Michigan Daily - "The Barn on Bathurst"
Enjoy the article - it's a long one - and have a brilliant day folks.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Ruminations 16.0
Thanks to constructive reminders from friends and family, I am more than well aware that I complain a fair bit about things that many would deem insignificant or unimportant. Perhaps I do this because subconsciously, I know I’m a pretentious snob that peers down his shapely nose upon the common folk – the modern proletariat, firmly planted in the ways of ignorance and lateral movements.
Perhaps I do this simply because I’m a dick with a platform, an internet-fueled soapbox of sorts that allows me to say what I want. So sit on that visual double-entendre and rotate.
Something I currently have a fair bit of beef with is the use of sweeping statements that I am myself guilty of when my guard is down. To be more specific, perhaps some examples would help;
“Bagels – no I’m cool, I’m not much of a bagel guy.”
“No thanks I’m not really a sushi person, I’ll opt instead for the tempura.”
“I’ve never been confused with a sodomy kinda guy, but I do have a neat pair of butt-less leather chaps I found on the clearance rack at Winners that are the perfect accessory for any broom-handle rear entry renovation.”
Don’t get me wrong – I understand the use of saying something similar to the above comments, and as previously stated, I’m not innocent before a court of verbal guffaws – it just bothers me that instead of saying something along the lines of “No thanks, I’m not a fan of sushi” or even more simply “No thanks, I do not like sushi”, we often choose to categorize things. You either like or dislike sushi – why does that make you a sushi person or not a sushi person? More specifically, I understand why it’s said, but I do not see the point in saying it.
Am I the only one who thinks that this sounds stupid?
Keep the answer to yourself please. I half considered posting a poll to go along with this bit, only to decide otherwise considering a poll is a moot point without participation, and this website is tied with Better Homes and Bukkake’s online mag and Preciousnaked.com as the interweb’s least popular website, completely defeating the purpose. Is this all falling on deaf ears like the sweet nothings of Mr. Matlin?
Perhaps so, regardless, the point I am struggling to make is that we progeny of the 21st century are obsessed with the categorization of things in the most simplest forms - the fors and the againsts, the yays versus the nays - you are one or the other, not a mélange of the two or even an indecisive or impartial party, but simply put, a member of column A or a member of column B. In this modern clusterfuck of unnecessary goods and ideas, we simplify the chaos of life through categorization, hence the “I’m not a sushi guy”.
The problem with the rampant misuse of categorization is that there is no common denominator to speak of. Being a ‘sushi person’ does not imply that you are a ‘romantic comedy kinda guy’ or a ‘hybrid auto person’.
If we’re talking about something of purpose, something that implies an ideological stance, than categorization helps. For example, if you’re Pro-Life, you’re likely conservative and would vote Republican, where as a supporter of the Pro-Choice movement is likely leaning a tad more to the left and voting Democrat. By the same token, if you stand for the protection of the environment and proactive global efforts like the Kyoto Protocol, theoretically you would place your support behind the Democrats for the emphasis they place on the environment when unveiling party platforms and principles come election time. Categorization becomes relevant when discussing anomalies in such logic, as per the Pro-Lifer who flies the ‘fuck-you’ flag with concerns to the environment.
Am I making any sense or has my state of fatigue done little for the coherence of this rant?
After all, you’re either a badnews person or not.
Thanks internet.
Perhaps I do this simply because I’m a dick with a platform, an internet-fueled soapbox of sorts that allows me to say what I want. So sit on that visual double-entendre and rotate.
Something I currently have a fair bit of beef with is the use of sweeping statements that I am myself guilty of when my guard is down. To be more specific, perhaps some examples would help;
“Bagels – no I’m cool, I’m not much of a bagel guy.”
“No thanks I’m not really a sushi person, I’ll opt instead for the tempura.”
“I’ve never been confused with a sodomy kinda guy, but I do have a neat pair of butt-less leather chaps I found on the clearance rack at Winners that are the perfect accessory for any broom-handle rear entry renovation.”
Don’t get me wrong – I understand the use of saying something similar to the above comments, and as previously stated, I’m not innocent before a court of verbal guffaws – it just bothers me that instead of saying something along the lines of “No thanks, I’m not a fan of sushi” or even more simply “No thanks, I do not like sushi”, we often choose to categorize things. You either like or dislike sushi – why does that make you a sushi person or not a sushi person? More specifically, I understand why it’s said, but I do not see the point in saying it.
Am I the only one who thinks that this sounds stupid?
Keep the answer to yourself please. I half considered posting a poll to go along with this bit, only to decide otherwise considering a poll is a moot point without participation, and this website is tied with Better Homes and Bukkake’s online mag and Preciousnaked.com as the interweb’s least popular website, completely defeating the purpose. Is this all falling on deaf ears like the sweet nothings of Mr. Matlin?
Perhaps so, regardless, the point I am struggling to make is that we progeny of the 21st century are obsessed with the categorization of things in the most simplest forms - the fors and the againsts, the yays versus the nays - you are one or the other, not a mélange of the two or even an indecisive or impartial party, but simply put, a member of column A or a member of column B. In this modern clusterfuck of unnecessary goods and ideas, we simplify the chaos of life through categorization, hence the “I’m not a sushi guy”.
The problem with the rampant misuse of categorization is that there is no common denominator to speak of. Being a ‘sushi person’ does not imply that you are a ‘romantic comedy kinda guy’ or a ‘hybrid auto person’.
If we’re talking about something of purpose, something that implies an ideological stance, than categorization helps. For example, if you’re Pro-Life, you’re likely conservative and would vote Republican, where as a supporter of the Pro-Choice movement is likely leaning a tad more to the left and voting Democrat. By the same token, if you stand for the protection of the environment and proactive global efforts like the Kyoto Protocol, theoretically you would place your support behind the Democrats for the emphasis they place on the environment when unveiling party platforms and principles come election time. Categorization becomes relevant when discussing anomalies in such logic, as per the Pro-Lifer who flies the ‘fuck-you’ flag with concerns to the environment.
Am I making any sense or has my state of fatigue done little for the coherence of this rant?
After all, you’re either a badnews person or not.
Thanks internet.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Dave Duerson Autopsy Results
Greetings folks;
If you're having a great day and could really do without a complete and utter bummer of a story, perhaps you should just hit-up youtube for some videos of kittens getting run over by ride-on lawnmowers. Sorry. I meant riding ride-on mowers.
If not, recall the bit I posted about ex-NFL'er Dave Duerson a little while back with an attached article on Deadspin?
BadNews Duerson Piece
The former Chicago Bear safety suffered from clinical depression and killed himself with a shotgun blast to the chest so as to protect his brain for the purpose of study. His methodical planning of the suicide and detailed instructions for family are selfless attempts mired by a very selfish act.
While the initial interview with Duerson linked above left me feeling inconsolably sad, the follow-up and autopsy results linked just below only compound my sense of grief for a man I've never met.
Deadspin Piece w\ Autopsy Results
Thanks for reading.
If you're having a great day and could really do without a complete and utter bummer of a story, perhaps you should just hit-up youtube for some videos of kittens getting run over by ride-on lawnmowers. Sorry. I meant riding ride-on mowers.
If not, recall the bit I posted about ex-NFL'er Dave Duerson a little while back with an attached article on Deadspin?
BadNews Duerson Piece
The former Chicago Bear safety suffered from clinical depression and killed himself with a shotgun blast to the chest so as to protect his brain for the purpose of study. His methodical planning of the suicide and detailed instructions for family are selfless attempts mired by a very selfish act.
While the initial interview with Duerson linked above left me feeling inconsolably sad, the follow-up and autopsy results linked just below only compound my sense of grief for a man I've never met.
Deadspin Piece w\ Autopsy Results
Thanks for reading.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Glazers Fuck United - Incestual Yankee Pricks Like Deep Holes.
For those anticipating a steamy and innuendo-driven bit about inter-family sexual relations - my sincerest of apologies. Despite what the title may imply, the only dirty work being done in Manchester these days is by a lot of d-bags who need not be bestowed with the honour of EPL champs without a complete and utter collapse by the Arsenal eleven.
Earlier today, word came from London that the Glazer Family, owners of Manchester United, were reporting a loss of $171 million (US) for last season. At the moment I'm too lazy and financially inept to determine whether 'last season' refers to a fiscal period per annum or some other quantification - regardless, that's a shitload of money.
The Glazers, who also own the NFL's Tampa Bay Buccaneers, incurred an expense of $105.9 million as their holding group, Red Football Joint Venture was forced to refinance its costly bank loans.
While the figures certainly strike fear in the hearts of the United faithful, losses such as these don't necessarily imply a change in strategy in terms of player personnel. Club director Joel Glazer has insisted that the club has significant cash reserves allotted for the signing of other players in the near future.
FIFA's European football governing party UEFA, has formulated a plan to resuscitate the struggling state of club football by encouraging debt management for its partnering clubs. Both of UEFA's continental competitions, the Europa League and Champions League, will require teams to be within a threshold of $30 million in debt to qualify for entry. Considering how much revenue is generated by a club's participation in European competition, especially for clubs from smaller nations, all clubs will strive to meet the new UEFA stipulations, all of which will likely experience further deliberations and revision in the coming years to deal with possible loopholes or inaccuracies.
United, who sit 5 points clear of Arsenal after 30 matches with an extra game played, seemed destined to hoist this season's English Premiership Trophy despite fielding arguably their weakest starting eleven since Sir Alex Ferguson joined the club as manager. The EPL is currently experiencing a down year of sorts, with many of the league's top clubs mired by streaks of inconsistency and the influence of a consistent, comprehensive talent such as the Cristiano Ronaldo's and Pre-Scandal Wayne Rooney of years past.
The club's financial outlook seems to be in a state of ruin, though the club appears as the leading candidate to win a record 18th top flight trophy, which only contributes to the bitterness of rival fans like myself, who supports a club in fine financial form, but refuses to spend money where deemed necessary.
Earlier today, word came from London that the Glazer Family, owners of Manchester United, were reporting a loss of $171 million (US) for last season. At the moment I'm too lazy and financially inept to determine whether 'last season' refers to a fiscal period per annum or some other quantification - regardless, that's a shitload of money.
The Glazers, who also own the NFL's Tampa Bay Buccaneers, incurred an expense of $105.9 million as their holding group, Red Football Joint Venture was forced to refinance its costly bank loans.
While the figures certainly strike fear in the hearts of the United faithful, losses such as these don't necessarily imply a change in strategy in terms of player personnel. Club director Joel Glazer has insisted that the club has significant cash reserves allotted for the signing of other players in the near future.
FIFA's European football governing party UEFA, has formulated a plan to resuscitate the struggling state of club football by encouraging debt management for its partnering clubs. Both of UEFA's continental competitions, the Europa League and Champions League, will require teams to be within a threshold of $30 million in debt to qualify for entry. Considering how much revenue is generated by a club's participation in European competition, especially for clubs from smaller nations, all clubs will strive to meet the new UEFA stipulations, all of which will likely experience further deliberations and revision in the coming years to deal with possible loopholes or inaccuracies.
United, who sit 5 points clear of Arsenal after 30 matches with an extra game played, seemed destined to hoist this season's English Premiership Trophy despite fielding arguably their weakest starting eleven since Sir Alex Ferguson joined the club as manager. The EPL is currently experiencing a down year of sorts, with many of the league's top clubs mired by streaks of inconsistency and the influence of a consistent, comprehensive talent such as the Cristiano Ronaldo's and Pre-Scandal Wayne Rooney of years past.
The club's financial outlook seems to be in a state of ruin, though the club appears as the leading candidate to win a record 18th top flight trophy, which only contributes to the bitterness of rival fans like myself, who supports a club in fine financial form, but refuses to spend money where deemed necessary.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
March Madness: Numbers
Amongst the pantheon of compelling sports competitions, the NCAA Division 1 basketball tournament sits atop a pedestal with the likes of the World Cup and Olympics. Very few athletics championships can rival the drama and unpredictability of March Madness, however, it's a struggle to find another competition that benefits its athletes less than the Final Four.
As previously discussed, the tournament is a cash cow for the schools and conferences, but leaves the athletes themselves with little to show for their efforts but pride and inevitably, for all but one team, disappointment. CBS and Turner Sports dolled-out $10.8 billion for the rights to broadcast the tournament across 4 stations.
* A 30-second advertisement come Final Four time is valued at approximately $1.3 million, justifying the $10.8 billion spent to solely hold the rights to broadcast all of the tournament games.
* For each game played by a school, its conference receives $1.4 million (NCAA schools are organized by conference based on school size, size of program and regional proximity - the Big East, basketball's largest conference, fielded a record 11 of the 68 teams in this year's tourney - 1 of which was an automatic bid for winning the Big East tournament, the other 10 as 'At Large' bids based on strength of schedule and overall record.)
* The Big East conference has received $26 million over the last 5 years for taking part in 109 tournament games.
These numbers a staggering at first glance, and the NCAA and its conferences go to great lengths to provide manifests and documentation to legitimize the profits and detail where they are being spent. The NCAA justify such profits as a means of building stronger athletics programs and assisting not only student-athletes, but all students in receiving the best possible education.
This is all fine and dandy, were it not for the fact that NCAA basketball players, and football players for that matter, are used as a means of generating ridiculous profits, while in return the receive an education. I am by no means belittling the value of a post-secondary education, but a 4-year degree in Child and Family Studies cannot be equated to playing in front of a national audience whilst the schools further pad their pockets.
To hypothetically discuss the value of paying students athletes is to realize just how complex and difficult it would be to determine a fair means of compensation. The members of North Carolina's men's basketball team play on national television more than a dozen weekends from December through to March while generating millions more for the Atlantic Coast Conference (ACC). Butler's team, despite enjoying some success in consecutive tournaments, would be fortunate to have one, maybe two games televised live on ESPN during a 30+ games season. Do the members of both teams deserve the same compensation? Not Likely. What about my sister, a diver for a Division 1 school also in Butler's little-known Horizon Conference - does she deserve to be paid for being a scholar-athlete? The Horizon Conference in Cleveland this past February generated a record in cupcake sales, notably a spike in bagel sales thanks to my mother, but drew very little by means of sponsorship and advertising numbers.
Where findeth we the middle-ground in ye case of rewarding student-athletes with more than a hug and a bj by a jersey-chaser or puck fucker.
The more I think of it, the more I am both frustrated and in realization that a means of compensating the athletes fairly may be more of a pipe dream than a realistic solution.
As previously discussed, the tournament is a cash cow for the schools and conferences, but leaves the athletes themselves with little to show for their efforts but pride and inevitably, for all but one team, disappointment. CBS and Turner Sports dolled-out $10.8 billion for the rights to broadcast the tournament across 4 stations.
* A 30-second advertisement come Final Four time is valued at approximately $1.3 million, justifying the $10.8 billion spent to solely hold the rights to broadcast all of the tournament games.
* For each game played by a school, its conference receives $1.4 million (NCAA schools are organized by conference based on school size, size of program and regional proximity - the Big East, basketball's largest conference, fielded a record 11 of the 68 teams in this year's tourney - 1 of which was an automatic bid for winning the Big East tournament, the other 10 as 'At Large' bids based on strength of schedule and overall record.)
* The Big East conference has received $26 million over the last 5 years for taking part in 109 tournament games.
These numbers a staggering at first glance, and the NCAA and its conferences go to great lengths to provide manifests and documentation to legitimize the profits and detail where they are being spent. The NCAA justify such profits as a means of building stronger athletics programs and assisting not only student-athletes, but all students in receiving the best possible education.
This is all fine and dandy, were it not for the fact that NCAA basketball players, and football players for that matter, are used as a means of generating ridiculous profits, while in return the receive an education. I am by no means belittling the value of a post-secondary education, but a 4-year degree in Child and Family Studies cannot be equated to playing in front of a national audience whilst the schools further pad their pockets.
To hypothetically discuss the value of paying students athletes is to realize just how complex and difficult it would be to determine a fair means of compensation. The members of North Carolina's men's basketball team play on national television more than a dozen weekends from December through to March while generating millions more for the Atlantic Coast Conference (ACC). Butler's team, despite enjoying some success in consecutive tournaments, would be fortunate to have one, maybe two games televised live on ESPN during a 30+ games season. Do the members of both teams deserve the same compensation? Not Likely. What about my sister, a diver for a Division 1 school also in Butler's little-known Horizon Conference - does she deserve to be paid for being a scholar-athlete? The Horizon Conference in Cleveland this past February generated a record in cupcake sales, notably a spike in bagel sales thanks to my mother, but drew very little by means of sponsorship and advertising numbers.
Where findeth we the middle-ground in ye case of rewarding student-athletes with more than a hug and a bj by a jersey-chaser or puck fucker.
The more I think of it, the more I am both frustrated and in realization that a means of compensating the athletes fairly may be more of a pipe dream than a realistic solution.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Let The Madness Begin
Greetings readers - my apologies for the week-long hiatus, but I was stretching both my legs and liver during a brief daliance with the beautiful metropolis of Chicago. Truly a wold-class city, I cannot say enough about the place but to recommend it to everybody.
On another note, today marks the beginning of the NCAA Division 1 Basketball Tournament. Despite the addition of 4 new teams which extended the field to 68 and began play two days ago, the real tournament starts today. People nationwide have long-ago concocted fictional illnesses and contrived excuses for why they will miss work this Thursday, and as a result Friday as well. The opening weekend of the tournament, based solely on the quantity of matches and raw excitement, cannot be compared to another sporting spectacle worldwide.
I love the tournament, always have - always will, but as I get older and more bitter, I cannot help but notice that the NCAA makes BILLIONS of dollars off the tournament, all the while the players make zilch.
Sure, a value can be put on the free-education (see scholarship), but that quantitative assesment pales in comparison to what the NCAA and the conferences and schools make off the players, the representation of their likenesses through t.v. and video games, the tourney-time increase in merchandise sales and above all, the 11-year t.v. deal with CBS for 6 billion dollars. That very deal was expanded and made more beneficial to the NCAA and schools with the addition of TNT (Turner Broadcasting Group TBS) as a collaborative host.
The other night, while lying in a posh Chicago hotel suite in the Lincoln Park loop, I attempted to catch a few zzz's whilst distracted by ESPN's documentary of Michigan's Fab Five. During the early 1990's, college basketball was flipped-on its head by the University of Michigan's recruiting class of five outstanding freshman basketball players; Chris Webber, Jalen Rose, Juwan Howard, Jimmy King and Ray Jackson. They carried themselves with a swagger that irritated the establishment and they represented millions of American youth obsessed with hip hop music, baggy clothing and overcoming the repression of their voice and individualities. The documentary highlighted many things, amongst them the fact that C-Web and the boys would eat Kraft Dinner and scrounge for change for laundry, while the University experienced a spike of $14 million in merchandise sales between 1992 and 1993.
The media is quick to blacklist a college athlete for receiving improper benefits, or even in the case of some Ohio State football players, trading game-worn football gear for tattoos. However, visit any school site and you'll find jerseys for sale with a player's name and number on the back. The NCAA and schools across the U.S. are making unbeleievable profits off of its basketball and football players, all the while these many of these players live below the poverty line.
How can we criticize student athletes for trying to survive when the fat-cat suits that shit old money and run these schools make a pretty penny off their backs?
Enjoy the tournament - Go Syracuse!
On another note, today marks the beginning of the NCAA Division 1 Basketball Tournament. Despite the addition of 4 new teams which extended the field to 68 and began play two days ago, the real tournament starts today. People nationwide have long-ago concocted fictional illnesses and contrived excuses for why they will miss work this Thursday, and as a result Friday as well. The opening weekend of the tournament, based solely on the quantity of matches and raw excitement, cannot be compared to another sporting spectacle worldwide.
I love the tournament, always have - always will, but as I get older and more bitter, I cannot help but notice that the NCAA makes BILLIONS of dollars off the tournament, all the while the players make zilch.
Sure, a value can be put on the free-education (see scholarship), but that quantitative assesment pales in comparison to what the NCAA and the conferences and schools make off the players, the representation of their likenesses through t.v. and video games, the tourney-time increase in merchandise sales and above all, the 11-year t.v. deal with CBS for 6 billion dollars. That very deal was expanded and made more beneficial to the NCAA and schools with the addition of TNT (Turner Broadcasting Group TBS) as a collaborative host.
The other night, while lying in a posh Chicago hotel suite in the Lincoln Park loop, I attempted to catch a few zzz's whilst distracted by ESPN's documentary of Michigan's Fab Five. During the early 1990's, college basketball was flipped-on its head by the University of Michigan's recruiting class of five outstanding freshman basketball players; Chris Webber, Jalen Rose, Juwan Howard, Jimmy King and Ray Jackson. They carried themselves with a swagger that irritated the establishment and they represented millions of American youth obsessed with hip hop music, baggy clothing and overcoming the repression of their voice and individualities. The documentary highlighted many things, amongst them the fact that C-Web and the boys would eat Kraft Dinner and scrounge for change for laundry, while the University experienced a spike of $14 million in merchandise sales between 1992 and 1993.
The media is quick to blacklist a college athlete for receiving improper benefits, or even in the case of some Ohio State football players, trading game-worn football gear for tattoos. However, visit any school site and you'll find jerseys for sale with a player's name and number on the back. The NCAA and schools across the U.S. are making unbeleievable profits off of its basketball and football players, all the while these many of these players live below the poverty line.
How can we criticize student athletes for trying to survive when the fat-cat suits that shit old money and run these schools make a pretty penny off their backs?
Enjoy the tournament - Go Syracuse!
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