Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Glazers Fuck United - Incestual Yankee Pricks Like Deep Holes.

For those anticipating a steamy and innuendo-driven bit about inter-family sexual relations - my sincerest of apologies. Despite what the title may imply, the only dirty work being done in Manchester these days is by a lot of d-bags who need not be bestowed with the honour of EPL champs without a complete and utter collapse by the Arsenal eleven.

Earlier today, word came from London that the Glazer Family, owners of Manchester United, were reporting a loss of $171 million (US) for last season. At the moment I'm too lazy and financially inept to determine whether 'last season' refers to a fiscal period per annum or some other quantification - regardless, that's a shitload of money.

The Glazers, who also own the NFL's Tampa Bay Buccaneers, incurred an expense of $105.9 million as their holding group, Red Football Joint Venture was forced to refinance its costly bank loans.

While the figures certainly strike fear in the hearts of the United faithful, losses such as these don't necessarily imply a change in strategy in terms of player personnel. Club director Joel Glazer has insisted that the club has significant cash reserves allotted for the signing of other players in the near future.

FIFA's European football governing party UEFA, has formulated a plan to resuscitate the struggling state of club football by encouraging debt management for its partnering clubs. Both of UEFA's continental competitions, the Europa League and Champions League, will require teams to be within a threshold of $30 million in debt to qualify for entry. Considering how much revenue is generated by a club's participation in European competition, especially for clubs from smaller nations, all clubs will strive to meet the new UEFA stipulations, all of which will likely experience further deliberations and revision in the coming years to deal with possible loopholes or inaccuracies.

United, who sit 5 points clear of Arsenal after 30 matches with an extra game played, seemed destined to hoist this season's English Premiership Trophy despite fielding arguably their weakest starting eleven since Sir Alex Ferguson joined the club as manager. The EPL is currently experiencing a down year of sorts, with many of the league's top clubs mired by streaks of inconsistency and the influence of a consistent, comprehensive talent such as the Cristiano Ronaldo's and Pre-Scandal Wayne Rooney of years past.

The club's financial outlook seems to be in a state of ruin, though the club appears as the leading candidate to win a record 18th top flight trophy, which only contributes to the bitterness of rival fans like myself, who supports a club in fine financial form, but refuses to spend money where deemed necessary.

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