Thanks to constructive reminders from friends and family, I am more than well aware that I complain a fair bit about things that many would deem insignificant or unimportant. Perhaps I do this because subconsciously, I know I’m a pretentious snob that peers down his shapely nose upon the common folk – the modern proletariat, firmly planted in the ways of ignorance and lateral movements.
Perhaps I do this simply because I’m a dick with a platform, an internet-fueled soapbox of sorts that allows me to say what I want. So sit on that visual double-entendre and rotate.
Something I currently have a fair bit of beef with is the use of sweeping statements that I am myself guilty of when my guard is down. To be more specific, perhaps some examples would help;
“Bagels – no I’m cool, I’m not much of a bagel guy.”
“No thanks I’m not really a sushi person, I’ll opt instead for the tempura.”
“I’ve never been confused with a sodomy kinda guy, but I do have a neat pair of butt-less leather chaps I found on the clearance rack at Winners that are the perfect accessory for any broom-handle rear entry renovation.”
Don’t get me wrong – I understand the use of saying something similar to the above comments, and as previously stated, I’m not innocent before a court of verbal guffaws – it just bothers me that instead of saying something along the lines of “No thanks, I’m not a fan of sushi” or even more simply “No thanks, I do not like sushi”, we often choose to categorize things. You either like or dislike sushi – why does that make you a sushi person or not a sushi person? More specifically, I understand why it’s said, but I do not see the point in saying it.
Am I the only one who thinks that this sounds stupid?
Keep the answer to yourself please. I half considered posting a poll to go along with this bit, only to decide otherwise considering a poll is a moot point without participation, and this website is tied with Better Homes and Bukkake’s online mag and Preciousnaked.com as the interweb’s least popular website, completely defeating the purpose. Is this all falling on deaf ears like the sweet nothings of Mr. Matlin?
Perhaps so, regardless, the point I am struggling to make is that we progeny of the 21st century are obsessed with the categorization of things in the most simplest forms - the fors and the againsts, the yays versus the nays - you are one or the other, not a mélange of the two or even an indecisive or impartial party, but simply put, a member of column A or a member of column B. In this modern clusterfuck of unnecessary goods and ideas, we simplify the chaos of life through categorization, hence the “I’m not a sushi guy”.
The problem with the rampant misuse of categorization is that there is no common denominator to speak of. Being a ‘sushi person’ does not imply that you are a ‘romantic comedy kinda guy’ or a ‘hybrid auto person’.
If we’re talking about something of purpose, something that implies an ideological stance, than categorization helps. For example, if you’re Pro-Life, you’re likely conservative and would vote Republican, where as a supporter of the Pro-Choice movement is likely leaning a tad more to the left and voting Democrat. By the same token, if you stand for the protection of the environment and proactive global efforts like the Kyoto Protocol, theoretically you would place your support behind the Democrats for the emphasis they place on the environment when unveiling party platforms and principles come election time. Categorization becomes relevant when discussing anomalies in such logic, as per the Pro-Lifer who flies the ‘fuck-you’ flag with concerns to the environment.
Am I making any sense or has my state of fatigue done little for the coherence of this rant?
After all, you’re either a badnews person or not.
Thanks internet.
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