Ruminations 13.0

First things first - I had an unbelievably busy week which culminated with a visit from a friend from the UK - so excuse me if there hasn't been a post in a week's time. I know how upset you all must be and how this site plays such an integral role in your daily lives.

Accept my apology with the same sincerity and genuine tone that the above personal message is seasoned with.

In today's installment of Ruminations, I'd like to tackle, nay, lazily gloss over some things that have been ruffling my feathers of late. To remain consistent with one of the general themes of this blog, I like to emphasize variations of the English language and common colloquial that are assisting in the Death Of The English Language (click on the link on the right-side margin to familiarize yourselves.)

Because of my love of literature, my experiences with journalism and my penchant for the use of larger words to convey a veiled sense of pretentiousness, I am a very literal person. I fancy the usage of words to be as they were intended and scoff at the misinterpretation and bastardization of terms.

Since I am so literal, today's term/word of choice may seem ironic. But it is not irony, rather coincidence (again, please read The Death Of The English Language excerpt on Irony.) The over-usage of the word literally is killing me.

Qualifying a thought or notion by attaching the word literally is one of the most wasteful and unintelligent things a person can do. Sure, there is a purpose to the term and its proper usage.

Let's start simple here. Literally is an adverb that comes from literal, as in the interpretation of things. It has 4 principle meanings and usages and they are each as simple to understand as the next.

1) In a literal or strict sense - What does a word mean? Literally. i.e. poo means shit, literally.

2) In a literal manner, word for word - Translate something literally.

3) Actually, as in without exaggeration or inaccuracy - i.e. I literally shit my pants. Not figuratively, where as Jay Cutler played like crap, boy did he shit his pants (see shit the bed.)

4) In effect, in substance or very nearly - In this sense, its interchangeable with 'Virtually".

Using the term literally has its purposes, this is clear. If used properly within the parameters of the aforementioned 4 means, it is an effective way of avoiding hyperbole and confusion. What bothers me is when ignorant teenagers use it as every 3rd word in a sentence.

I contemplated fabricating a conversation between two teenage girls where the misuse of the word literally would be borderline pandemic, but my readers are an intelligent lot and familiar with such blasphemy. In addition to this, I literally did not want to make your eyes bleed.

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One last thing. This is not as much for my readers as it is a reminder for myself if I should ever be faced with the possibilities of being a parent.

As a child, I was a bit of a pain in the ass (that would be figuratively, not literally - as a child, Elton John was a bit of a pain in the ass, literally.) I was constantly in trouble and in the midst of being lectured by my mother whilst eating ants and starting fires.

One of my mother's go-to lines was "How many times have I told you not..."

A day would not go by without having these words uttered in my direction. The point I am struggling to make is, did she really expect me to be keeping count? When I become a father, can I come-up with an alternative to getting my point across? Recalling how insolent I was as a child, I'm surprised I didn't keep count.

"Well mother, you have told me 1,296 times not to play with my food, but it is now, as it was the previous 1,295 times a moot point since I clearly do not tolerate listening to you."

Surely there are more efficient means of getting one's point across no? Perhaps I am just too literal for my own good. Regardless, there's your blog post guys, hope you're happy.

Letterz From Da Editor 4

Last week I lambasted both the TTC and The Toronto Star.

In mentioning what few talented writers there were at The Star, I forgot to mention Joe Fiorito. His columns appear in the GTA section and he has long been the voice of the city's forgotten. He lectured a class of mine years ago and I have both communicated by email to him for professional advice and simply to commend him for his great work.

In today's Star, there's a column that both shows the writer's skills and humanity, while ripping the TTC for the proposed cuts highlighted in last Monday's post.

Enjoy the article and ask yourselves, do the decision makers at the Toronto Transit Commission have hearts, or are there miniature deposit slots littered with tokens in its place

Cuts Threaten Bus Service To Toronto's Blind/Deaf Community By Joe Fiorito. January 31st 2011.

TTC Proposed Service Cuts and Fare Increases

Dear Toronto Transit Commission,

You never cease to amaze me.

Service continues to worsen. An increasing number of your staff are condescending to riders and abrasive when dealt with. The schedules posted online differ from those that are found on posts at some bus shelters.

The moment Rob Ford was elected Mayor, we knew the city's government-assisted and managed programs would start to experience cuts - we just didn't think you would cut off all our limbs and leave us to roll-about like a tumbleweed taken from a Sergio Leone Spaghetti Western.

You are such an essential resource for Torontonians, many of which live on the city's periphery areas, however you continue to reduce service to these areas during the later hours. Many of these people work in or near the city's central artery and work hours that require better service so that they may get to Islington and Albion Rds or Morningside and Sheppard Rd type destinations. You do a decent job servicing the Toronto's middle and upper class neighbourhoods, but fail other miserably.

And now of all times, amidst a period of such unreliability, you choose to propose service cuts and fare increases.

If only the assholes who are responsible for such cuts were without other means and forced to live in the aforementioned areas would you realize how badly you are fucking the people who overpay for your inadequate bullshit.

GO FUCK YOURSELVES IN THE MOST PAINFUL AND VIOLENT FASHION.

With Continued Frustration and Hatred;

The staff of badnews blog.


For a comprehensive guide to the proposed cuts and fare increases, and a list of the routes being affected, FOLLOW THIS LINK.

English Tourism: Hackney/East London Stand-Up

Professor Green's video for Jungle should be banned by London tourism officials, not that they have any trouble with tourism. Anywho, if you're on the bus to Shoreditch and you hop-off in Hackney, run for Hackney Central Station. This also applies to Walthamstow Central - Emil, Klown where y'at?

Ruminations 12.0

On the topic of time travel, I've been brainstorming with a friend who is currently enrolled in the physics program at UofT. We've been throwing ideas back and forth like a baby tossing party, attempting to determine an actual calculation to represent the amount of distance covered relative to the time travelled as discussed two posts ago.

As soon as I have a more concrete understanding of the calculations, we will have a little fun determining the schematics of it all.

One thing I didn't take into account was the spherical nature of the big blue marble we live on and how travelling east through time on an axis could result in being displaced above the earth's surface, or even worse, within the earth itself.

Interesting notions made even more interesting with the help of a spleef roughly the size of newborn's forearm.

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Kudos to today's Toronto Star sports section for its coverage of sports that don't end with 'ball'. Allocating full-pages for the Australian Open tennis, Canadian Figure Skating Championships and Short Track Speed Skating the day after the NFL Conference Finals is worth noting.

I have criticized the Star often in the past, much of it stems from an interview I had there, but also the talent they have and the fact that they more often then not fail to use it.

Much respect to Dave Feschuk for his coverage of the Raptors - it's stellar, and to Cathal Kelly for covering European soccer. Any fans of English soccer who are not mentally challenged and support a club other then Manchester United, today's piece by Kelly is a must read. Covering a socccer event locally, I met Mr. Kelly. He knows he's talented without being told as much - read between the lines if you please.

Peter Howell is also a talented film writer and Ben Rayner has chops when it comes to covering music - besides that, the paper is absolute rubbish and were it just a little softer to the touch, I wouldn't even wipe my ass with it. The New York Times inserts (Business section and Book review) are a nice touch, but it does nothing but to identify just how terrible the writing is in The Star.

For all the criticism the Toronto Sun receives, at least it knows its audience and caters to it. The Star wouldn't know its ass if it took a massive crunch in its mouth.

Here's a massive tune from Katy B for y'all to enjoy and an absolute banger from Magnetic Man feat. Katy B. Peace wardies.

Things Done Changing: Sportswriting's Platform and Ethics: Deadspin

I consider myself an ‘All-Encompassing” sports fan, in the sense that I watch sports, I play sports, I read sports and I write sports. I've seen it from both sides of the coin and am a part of something experiencing an intense period of change.

The Internet is changing the face of sports writing, where online message boards hold sports writers to loftier standards than ever before, and smaller, regional blogs are in constant search of a niche or story that will receive national exposure.

Gone are the days of scanning the morning’s sports section and combing-through numerous box scores to find the stat of choice. Online sports pages have taken the clout away from the daily paper, as an exodus of brilliant minds turn their backs on the crumbling worth of newsprint and accept the Internet for what it must be accepted as – not only the newest, but the only medium.

Throughout this period of change, Deadspin.com has been a forerunner and a catalyst, a beacon for criticism and a forum and meeting place for an ever-growing audience. I have for long been a loyal reader, and in the last few months, an approved commenter trading witty barbs amongst some of the Internets quickest sports minds.

The popularity of the site exploded this past year, with much thanks going to breaking the Brett Favre-Jenn Sterger story, made famous by cell phone pictures of the NFL’s All-Time passing leader’s bologna hammer.

Interested in how the Internet is changing sports reporting and the logistics of getting such information and sharing it with the masses? This month’s GQ features an article profiling Deadspin Editor-In-Chief A.J. Daulerio and the behind-the-scenes happenings of the web's most read sports blog. Enjoy.

Deadspin: The Worldwide Leader in Dong Shots - GQ February 2011

Thoughts On Time Travel

In the event that any of you are planning on doing a little time travelling in the coming days, I should warn you about a few things.

I've been working on some of the dynamics of time travel and the various theories as elements of a short-story I'm writing and submitting to a local competition. As with many of my past attempts at a flawless work of fiction, I often build miniature models of aspects of the story to enhance the realism and plausibility of such things taking place.

In this specific instance, using various plans found online, I've began building my own time machine.

There are several theories on time travel, some based on scientific postulates of time, matter, etc and other based on fantasy and ideals which extend beyond the understanding of science. Just last week, while tinkering with my simplistic and erudite time machine concept, I thought of something that I hadn't previously taken into account.

The Foucault Pendulum was first built by physicist Leon Foucault in 1851 as a rather simplistic means of quantitatively measuring the earth's standard rotation. Taking into account several variables, an iron sphere was hung 67m below the Pantheon in Paris, whereas the pendulum's oscillation is a measurement equal to the earth's rotation at that particular latitude. According to the movement of the pendulum and some simple math, Foucault determined that the earth rotated 11 degrees clockwise per hour.

The Foucault pendulum, despite being a simple means of measurement, can now be found in museums worldwide, and if you're in Toronto like myself, there is a brilliant sculpture of it on Yonge St. just south of York Mills, at the top of the hill and across the street from Loblaws on the west side.

Considering what we understand about the earth's clockwise rotation, if you were to travel back in time, even a relatively short time, and we assumed when you traveled back in time that your body did not change locations, then your position would change.

As an example, say you were to hear of a car striking and killing an elderly woman at a specific street corner. Taking into account a novice understanding of time travel, you and your machine would position yourself at said corner so as to go back into time and save the elderly woman from being struck by the car. The problem is, you would be in a different location than the one intended because the earth rotates clockwise. The further back in time you chose, the further away your physical body would appear because of the earth's movement.

Everybody still with me? Okay good.

Let's take this theorem and expand on it, because unfortunately, the earth's axis varies, such that the earth does fully rotate in a 24 hour span, yet as it rotates clockwise, it also dips, rotating in that direction at a much slower clip, such that the duration of a complete rotation is 365 days. This is why we have the 4 seasons, and why the equator is always the same relative temperature, and why we in the northern hemisphere enjoy summer as our friends in Australia and Africa struggle through winter.

Let's apply this concept to a rather simple example. Whether your time machine moves with you or it is stored in a static location, whereas you input the location and are thus sent back to said location, the same problem with movement based on the earth's rotation applies. For a moment, pretend that you have just run the 100 meter dash and were disappointed with your performance. Using your time machine, you travel back in time the 11 and a half seconds it took you to run the race in order to run the race again. Problem is, not only has the earth rotated eastward, it has shifted south at a minute increment, such that as the gun went off to signal the start of the race you would actually be out of your lane and disqualified as a result.

This effect, known as The Coriolis Effect, implies that bodies fall eastward, such as is the rotation and dip of the earth consistent with it's aforementioned description. Other principles also come into effect, such as The Chandler Wobble which is essentially just another variable you would need to account for when determining the location you'd assume when travelling back in time.

Perhaps if I find the time later I will quantify such measures mathematically so as to determine the shift in location relative to the time travelled and the earth's rotation. There may be some linear algebra involved so bear with me, it could take sometime. Just remember, in the event you plan on travelling back into time, take all variables into account so as to ensure a safe passage.

Where Amazing Happens Sometimes: More Terrible Officiating

During last night's game between the Spurs and T'Wolves in Minnesota, two technical fouls were called on one play, one against Minnesota center Darko Milicic and the other against teammate Corey Brewer.

While Spurs guard Manu Ginobili took the 4 ensuing free throws, Minnesota coach Kurt Rambis was T-Up twice and ejected, narrowly missing Wolves forward Kevin Love getting a technical on the following play as a reaction to a horrible non-call.

That's five tecs in 10 seconds and 2 on one play - something I have never seen.



Just as I mentioned on a previous post about NBA ref Dick Bavetta fist-fucking the Raptors in a game at MSG against the Knicks, the officiating in the league is terribly inconsistent and the NBA's darling franchises continue to get the calls, even on the road as it was in this instance, and their marquee players continue getting the benefit of the doubt on all borderline calls.

To compound this issue, the NBA made a much publicized move in the off season to give the officials more power to penalize players for showing dissent.

That was a completely and most utterly nonsensical decision by Commish David Stern and his legion of Ivy League pencil-pushers. The NBA experienced a boom in the 90's, and that growth was because of the entertaining aspect of watching charismatic and passionate athletes up-close and personal without being hidden by helmets or baggy uniforms like the other 3 major professional North American leagues.

People pay hundreds, sometimes thousands of dollars to sit court side and they want to see Rasheed Wallace grimace at a ref and drop a muffled F-Bomb and they want to see players passionately react if they feel wronged by a refs decision as would any of us in a similar position.

Officials should be invisible. It is not their role to alter the game, but to police it and allow it to run it's course whilst staying within the guidelines of the rules. When officials, whether in the NBA, or in baseball when some blowhard first base ump gets in a player's face, by their actions, negatively alter the tone and expression of the game, they are fundamentally failing to adequately perform their duties (holy fucking commas.)

The NBA needs to fix this fiasco right the F now.

Here's just a few more instances to further cement my point. The tone of the play-by-play guys is indicative of just how stupid this is, and it's not all hometown coverage (just listen to the Celtics announcer Tommy Heinsohn from the next clip. And for that matter, Jeff Van Gundy and Mark Jackson in the 2nd one.);









Sorry, just had to throw that last one in. Discuss.

Oh How I Love Me Some Jamaican Exports

You know, there's more to love about Jamaica then Reggae music, women with asses so fat you can see them from the front and the calm, soothing sensation of smoking cess in a giant blunt wrap - the coffee is amazing too.

A friend of mine recently returned from the land of homophobia and Usain Bolt with a bag of 100% Jamaican Blue Mountain Coffee and I have just now sampled my first taste. It's delicious, what more can I say? Well, as a purveyor of both good and bad coffees, the Blue Mountain variety is subtle and has an earthy quality about out. Obviously all coffee beans should have said earthy quality, but with the Jablum, I can almost taste the hillsides from which they were gathered.

I first used it in my cappuccino maker with near perfect results. Tomorrow, I look forward to giving her a thorough grind and throwing it in the French Press. As far as I know, this coffee is not available in Canada, but if you should visit the island or see the bag shown below anywhere, pick-some up ya, you will not regret the decision.



Can Jamaica be celebrated without referencing some of its finer cultural contributions? Naaaaw. Easily one of my favorite films of all time, "Top Shottas" stars Kymani Marley as Biggz and Spragga Benz as Wayne, and if for nothing else, the dialogue is amazing. I found a clip on youtube where somebody subtitled the dialogue from a scene where Wayne and Biggz were tailing your boy Teddy Bruckshot (Ox from Belly). Fuck this is a fucking blooooood clot of a film seen?



Now I know what you're saying; "Miii wan seee dis film". Well, rather than visit your local Chinese convenience store, the Blockbuster on Sherbourne Street has a nice DVD copy of Top Shottas and they need your support before they file for Chapter 11 like their compatriots to the south.

Speaking of Teddy Bruckshot, more commonly known as Ox, and less commonly known by his actual name Louie Rankin, the acclaimed Jamaican thespian also took part in another cinematic masterpiece - The Roaming Lion. The film centres around a group of murderers posing as cable repair men. The finesse of their crimes boggle forensic investigators and their massive woven Jamaican hats and fake dreads allow them to assimilate perfectly with the masses. Enjoy the trailer, it pretty much covers the entire plot and includes many of the best scenes. Watch out Daniel Day Lewis, here comes Mykal Fax.



Before I leave you for the day, since we've missed a few Dipset Fridays recently, here's a video that is quite relevant to the context of today's subject. Enjoy.

Ruminations 10.0: The Year In My iPod.

Missed-out on many of the 'End of the Year' lists that many sites execute quite well. Despite the fact we don't share a similar taste in music, my brother's blog IMusicalGenius (see right) does a more than adequate job of such things, and he inquired recently if I had put together a list. Unlike previous years, I haven't had my thumb on the pulse of the new music scene. Perhaps I'm getting old, or perhaps I have found more productive means of occupying my time, but I am not as hip as I was, or as I may have thought.

Anyways, instead of compiling a list of my favorite songs of the year, I will revert to my iTunes to find which songs I listened to the most.

I must admit, despite my intentions to often avoid what is the sound of the moment, dubstep took my iPod hostage this year and is still my go-to genre. I have always enjoyed drum n' bass music, especially the raw, reggae MC inspired English sound. Dubstep has managed to take the unrelenting bass of dnb and infuse some melody. The following song was the most played song on my iPod this year, and frankly, I'm cautious to admit just how many times I listened to it.

This dubstep re-mix is by Welsh DJ High Contrast, who like English DJ tandem Chase & Status, can pretty much take any song and make it dubstep magic. Kudos to Skream a genius remix of this tune, but in the end, the High Contrast version reigns supreme. Sounds better very loud.

So, without further ado, here's my favorite/most-played song of 2010, which narrowly beat-out the song featured just below it. Also listed are the other songs that helped me burn through 5 pairs of shitty headphones this year.

La Roux - In For The Kill (High Contrast Remix)


Adele - Hometown Glory (High Contrast Remix)

Plab B - End Credits (Chase & Status Remix)


Chase & Status - Eastern Jam


Brookes Brothers - Tear You Down


Rihanna feat. Drake _ What's My Name (Blackmill Remix)


Axwell - I Found You (High Contrast Remix)


High Contrast - If We Ever


Danny Byrd feat. The Brookes Brothers - Gold Rush

Things Need To Change: Toronto

Despite all the negative things I had to say about my city voting for a misogynist, wife-beating, drunk driving bigot as Mayor, it seems he has recently either done or said two things that give me reason to be hopeful.

First, he appointed National Ballet of Canada head Jeff Melanson as his arts consultant, which was a surprising move considering I assumed he thought rhe arts consisted of UFC and dwarf-tossing. Secondly, he shared the notion that curbed bike lanes could find themselves on Toronto's streets in the near future.

While I was in France, renting bikes from whichever city I was in, I noted that many towns used said curbed bike lanes as a means of separating the automobiles from the cyclists. In Paris, curbed bike lanes are as wide as a typical lane and are also used for buses. Having a lane that houses both bicycles and transit is a brilliant move to both stem the tide that traffic and congestion produce in this city and increase the safety of cyclists. This will also encourage more people to take their bikes to work who may have been threatened by the perilous approach many of the city's drivers take towards cyclist.

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Today, my mood continues to vacillate between good and evil, reminding me of some people I've known and their penchant for bipolarity, whether clinical or simply self-prescribed. Lithium is a popular drug for the treatment of bipolarity, which naturally made me think of this song, specifically the 1992 performance at the Reading Festival in England.

Athletes That Need More Love: Kara Lang

While we're on the topic of Canadian athletes - or at least this post is, which not so coincidentally was written in close proximity to the piece about the Conacher Award - Canadian Soccer player Kara Lang announced her retirement from the game yesterday at the age of 24.



Following two torn anterior cruciate ligaments (the ever-popular ACL, next door neighbour to it's pal the mediocolateral cruciate ligament), Lang opted for early retirement rather then face the possibility of walking on a prosthetic knee before her 30th birthday. Since making her debut for the Women's National Team at the tender age of 14, the doe-eyed striker was a favorite of mine for more reasons than her 30+ goals in 90 international caps.

Before you sigh, kiss your teeth or snap y'all dirty-ass fingers at me and pass judgement, she's pretty, that's it. Can't say it didn't hurt my interest in following her playing career, but is it even wrong to mention how attractive a female athlete is? Nope. Would you... you know, hit that? Even further, is it unrealistic to say that hypothetically, the WNBA could use a player as physically beautiful as she is talented to draw attention to a small fish in a big-ass ocean of professional sports? Naaaan.

Last night, I caught a clip of her press conference, and couldn't help but feel bad for her having to retire but 6 months from a World Cup in Germany, where along with the host nation and a typically strong American side, the Canadians will be one of a handful of favorites following a surprise 1st place result at the CONCACAF Gold Cup. Retiring at 24 is the dream shared by fictional Atlantic Canadian Trailer Park residents, not that of an athlete who may have only scratched the surface of her potential.

Deep within the clouded recesses of my mind, I think as a child I was attracted to a girl that looked similar to Lang in that tomboyish/wanna-have-sex-in-7th-grade things going on kind of way. Back in the day, which for me quantifies birth to the first day of university, I had a penchant for sexy, lanky and long-legged women.

I can faintly hear the cries of the common feminist; "Oh no he didn't, trying to be all pro-fesshaanal and what not, talkin' bout Kara Lang like she a piece o' meat or somethin'".

You know what Trick - Shut yo mouf! People like attractive people. That's why attractive people partner with other attractive people. Don't hate me because I both highlight her athletic acumen and her long-ass legs. Women who watch sports cannot deny that they don't at worst take notice of an attractive male athlete, if not becoming partial to his game because of his chiseled jaw, slick fade and likely absurd junk. My ex loves the Celtics, most notably Kevin Garnett. She's a smart woman and she knows good game. Good game don't lie. KG plays with a passion and defensive tenacity that has him in very select company amongst the NBA's best. She also wouldn't mind having his chop-stick looking-like muthafuckin' ass in between her sheets. Dude's 6'11" - he is obviously hung like a T-Rex. I bet Jose Calderon's doesn't compare to a Raptor's, he's rocking tapas-like proportions bruh - No Hobo

Here's hoping the best for Ms. Lang with her post-playing days - if you read this, in a most surreptitious manner, place an OMG sandwiched between your favorite punctuation below, I'll know it's you simply by virtue of the fact that you'll be the lone commentator.


[In defiance of the oldest rule of football, Lang is seen here holding the ball in the same fashion she will hold our yet to be born child, as of this moment named Adidas, regardless of gender.]

Athletes Who Need More Love: Sports Writers Blow, Including Myself

Before we get started, don't take that title seriously, it's just that I'm a little bitter about something that happened just prior to the New Year.

Every year, Canadian sports writers take part in the voting for the male and female recipients of the Lionel Conacher award.

In the past, the likes of Wayne Gretzky and Steve Nash have deservedly received the award, and this year, it's difficult to argue with the selection of Sidney Crosby, who led Canada to Gold in Vancouver despite strong competition and unmeasurable pressure incomparable to any other athlete in the country. Toronto's own Joey Votto overcame clinical depression due to the sudden death of his father to win National League MVP for the Cincinnati Reds, beating out perennial MVP candidate Albert Pujols. Alexandre Bilodeau finished third in the voting and became Canada's first Olympic athlete to win Gold on home soil.

My beef is not with the selection of the top three, but with the remainder of the Top 10, as follows;

4) Jonathan Toews, Chicago Blackhawks, Team Canada Hockey Gold Medalist
5) Geroges St-Pierre, UFC Athlete, Weight-Class Champion
6) Jon Montgomery, Skeleton Racer, Olympic Gold Medalist
7) Jasey-Jay Andersen, Dual Slalom Snowboarder, Olympic Gold Medalist
8) Andy Fantuz, Saskatchewan Roughrider, Top Canadian CFL athlete
9) Alexandre Despatie, Springboard Diver
10) Ryder Hesjedal, Cyclist, Tour De France 4th-Place Finisher (Can. record)

In brief, Toews won both Gold and the Stanley Cup - I'm cool with the recognition of his year, but not necessarily with 4th place. Georges St-Pierre is the face of Mixed Martial Arts, seems to be a good person who works hard at his craft and is a proud Canadian. Despite the fact I can't stand UFC and the use of a hyphen in his name where perhaps a period is better-fitted, I'm okay with this selection because he is perhaps the most famous of the ten athletes worldwide. I can't really argue with the selection of Andersen at 7th, for nearly a decade now, he has been a podium mainstay on the World Cup scene and is a multiple Olympic medalist.

Before I vent, perhaps I should pause for a moment to collect my thoughts - ahhh fuck it. Ryder Hesjedal finished 4th at the Tour De France, by far the most difficult and physically challenging of the aforementioned sports. You could not walk some of the hills these dudes climb on their bikes.

He was not expected to finish anywhere near the top, and was originally selected by the Team Garmin captain to fulfill the duty of domestique, which is essentially a role that requires sacrifice, selflessness and a commited sense of teamwork that puts the lot ahead of any single rider.Some are chosen to win, others to facilitate - prior to the start of Stage 1, Ryder was selected in the latter category. He overcame all of these odds to finish 4th, ahead of many of the greatest cyclists of this generation. I could argue that he deserved to win the award - actually, I think I just did.

Hockey is a Canadian dominated sport and Crosby is one of several Canadians that excelled in Vancouver, Joey Votto is the third Canadian MVP of the last 15 years (Justin Morneau, Larry Walker) and Bilodeau's performance consisted of the best 2 of 3 rounds in one day. Not to take anything away from the three aforementioned athletes, but Hesjedal would have been canonized by the Catholic Church by now were he an Italian, French or Spanish national.

Jon Montgomery rode a fucking slide down a hill and chugged beer - no wonder why the Canadian Sports Writers loved the guy. Andy Fantuz is an above-average receiver in the CFL. Were he in the NFL competing amongst the elite athletes in his sport, then perhaps he would deserve the recognition. He was in a first-year psychology class of mine at the University of Western Ontario, and a friend of mine does play in the CFL, so I won't really tell you how I feel. Alexandre Despatie - are you fucking kidding me? The guy is at least 5 years past his prime and in comparison with his primary competition, the technically brilliant Chinese Diving Team, he absolutely cannot compete. The only reason he appeared on so many podiums is because aquatics competitions limit competitors in diving to two per country in individual events.

By no means do I want to criticize any of the above athletes, well maybe Mr. Montgomery, but the point is, I wholeheartedly support amateur athletics and athletes. Canada needs to do a better job at both promoting and supporting its amateur athletes. Half of the athletes on this list qualify as amateur athletes and deserve all the recognition they get and a great deal more.

Ryder Hesjedal deserves the recognition of a proud nation, and the accolades that go along with being an elite athlete on the world stage.

Things Done Changed: People Don't Kick No More

Hey boys and girls, please excuse that lack of posts recently - what with the holidays, my hours at work and the damn Penske file - needless to say, I've been a busy boy.

The excessive holiday reruns and marathons of some of my favorite action films had me thinking a fair deal about the changing nature of the genre. Sure, the newfound means of digitally-assisted explosions and graphic violence is amazing, but whatever happened to hand-to-hand combat between two men?

Gone are the days of two men locking horns in a hard-fought battle to the death using not only their fists, but also their feet.

I recall a bit of a scrap I found myself in years ago, amidst the youthful ignorance and naivety of high school. This one fella thought I had forcefully inserted my reproductive organ in his delighful little elf of a girlfriend. He was wrong and I was wrongfully accused. Little did he know, but a year later I would end-up doing as he suspected, and it was pretty fucking good. Nonetheless, a fight ensued with a slew of poorly-thrown punches, I was doing well, until, without nary a notice, he kicked me directly in the aforementioned reproductive area and I fell to the ground only to be kicked a few more times. Brusises and scars dissipate for the most part, the joy of slaying his young girlfriend will last forever.

People don't kick no more. Correction, people in films do not kick anymore. Gone are the days of two men fighting for what they believe in, curiously displaying an accumen for karate with a bevy of kicks, including my all-time fave, the spin kick.

Without drawing this thing out too much, primarily because I have other things to do, I thought I'd post a few scenes from some noteworthy films to identify the passing of an era.

The first clip is quite poignant, the last two not so much - I just wanted to make sure everybody who reads this site had seen each at least once. Enjoy.