What The Holidays Remind Me Of

Despite the fact I grew up in a devout Roman Catholic household, once I left for university at the age of 19, I stopped practising my faith for various reasons. I became lazy and complacent towards my faith, and even more so, I became skeptical that something which could not manifest itself physically could have such on influence not only on my life, but the lives of my family and the creative foundation of the world.

My parents, being the passive and understanding pair they are, allowed me the liberty of an attempt at both a literal and contextual analysis of the church and scripture, which combined with the aforementioned malaise found me turning my back on my faith.

Save for a funeral or wedding, the only time I step foot in a church these days is to appease my mother and attend a Christmas Eve mass. When I'm sitting there next to my parents and brother and sister, an unmistakable sensation of guilt sweeps over me. Why, I have no idea? I reckon it's because I feel such an overwhelming urge to please my parents and make them proud. Regardless, Christmas Eve mass always evokes a sense of virtue and focus on my part, in so far as a renewed focus on what's important in life; family.

Time changes all, and rifts are created between friends and family members over various reasons, sometimes legitimate, other times completely trivial and wasteful where a person's pride masks the sobering effects of proper judgment. Come holiday time, I am reminded of the fact that at the end of the day, our families are all we really have. Blood binds people together like a metaphysical adhesive greater than that of any legal commitment or contract.

Despite the fact very little people will likely ever read this post - both because I've not posted much the last few months and likely decimated what little fan base I have and also because the first paragraph mentions the ever-tantalizing existence of church and faith - the fact remains, often we do the bare minimum when it concerns family. The holidays and the practise of worshipping a false idol (Santa, not Jesus) should not be the sole reason to come together as a family. Call your aunt, email your uncle, for God's sake, tell your mother you love her, because while time changes all, it also passes at great speed with very little notice.

Happy Holidays to everybody and thanks for reading.

Long-Form Sports Journalism: Alex Belth

As newspapers continue to drop long-form, researched pieces for short, attention grabbing bullet points, the internet is becoming a safe haven for sports journalist looking to rekindle a previous romance with full-length pieces.

I encourage everybody to read the following article by New York sportswriter Alex Belth, about a fellow sportswriter whose style and penchant for alcohol and drug-induced interactions with the athletes of the 70's and 80's evokes memories of a time I never experienced, but have read so much about.

Deadspin; Alex Belth, December, 6th, 2011.

Thank you for reading, and again, my apologies to the dozens of loyal fans of this site for it's general shittiness.

Gary Speed RIP

Sunday morning, police discovered that Welsh football manager Gary Speed had hanged himself. The 42-year old ex-Premier League and Welsh footballer leaves behind a wife and two teenage boys.

Though not the best of obituaries, the Telegraph's coverage features a nicely edited video of Speed's career accomplishments. I encourage you to have a look at the link if you'd fancy.

The internet doesn't need another obit, rather I've decided to post this link and share my sentiments because I always admired the man. Upon reading about Speed's suicide, I was absolutely gutted. He was a fearless leader and a brilliant example for younger players. His 535 matches played was a league record before being broken by ex-England keeper David James. He was the type of player who never showed dissent and always seemed to exceed the physical limitations his ever-aging body presented as obstacles.

Certain that possible reasons as depression or the like will be revealed in the coming days, it's safe to say his suicide has caught everybody who knew the man by surprise.

RIP Gary Speed.

Penn State Scandal: John Amaechi's Perspective.

Amidst all the nauseating accounts of Jerry Sandusky's actions and the uncovered allegations of Penn State's administrations lack of proactivite measures, many a Penn State grad or person with experience or perspective has been asked to express his or her sentiments regarding the case.

Former NBA center and Penn State grad John Amaechi appeared yesterday on ESPN's Highly Questionable with Dan LeBatard to share his disgust with Sandusky's actions and the manner with which Penn State's administrative hierarchy failed in dealing with it.

Besides being a very well spoken and eloquent individual, following his retirement in February, 2007, Amaechi became the first high-profile athlete from one of the 4 major North American leagues to announce that he is homosexual. He subsequently released an autobiography titled Man In The Middle and became a spokesman of sorts for inequalities in sport and the plight of the closeted homosexual in extremely heterosexual and homophobic environments. Needless to say, the guy is a class act whose sacrifices have paved the way for the next generation of educated and well-versed professional athletes.

The reason I'm posting this 6+ minute video and giving a brief account of John Amaechi's successes is because the sentiments he shared with Dan LeBatard are the most eloquent and sobering of opinions I've seen or read since this whole scandal unfurled not two weeks ago.



In this instance, eloquent seems like a bit of an understatement, but the point remains; Amaechi does well to separate where we should be directing our efforts and goodwill, and how easily people can become selfish in such times. I commend Amaechi for his opinions and hope that as many people as possible can as well in hopes of coming to grips with this disgusting scandal that will forever leave its black mark on college sports and the University of Penn State.

Lockout With Your Glock Out

In lieu of the fact that the NBA lockout negotiations continue to move slower than Jose Molina on the basepath and the apparent refusal by the owners and the players to meet half way like Oprah's belt, I present to you the closest thing to NBA basketball we have.

Here we find the Knicks' Carmelo Anthony and Amar'e Stoudemire discussing the term 'compare' with Grover. Carmelo's smile is about as genuine as a pair of Adidas I have with two stripes. Speaking of Adidas, it seems the people at Sesame Street are against brand recognition.



That's all I have for you today. Remember to show your appreciation for a Veteran today. The most poignant remark I've seen in recent days was from a colleague on twitter, who said something along the lines of "Veterans have signed a blank cheque to the country with their lives. Show them some love."

Well said. Thanks for reading BadNewsBlog. I apologize that the last few months have been pretty sparse, I hope to find a 25th hour in the day so as to placate both of your appetites for Pulitzer-level shit.

Tommy Craggs: One of America's Best Sportwriters.

Amidst all the hoopla surrounding Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow and his adoption by the sports media as "America's Christian Darling", there has been a very biased and narrow minded approach to covering him.

Despite his struggles on the field, the media has anointed him as a special one, namely because of his tidy ethical principles and well-spoken demeanour.

No sportswriter in America has tackled this issue with the same concise manner as Deadspin's Tommy Craggs.

Deadspin: Tommy Craggs, Friday November 4th.

Enjoy the article and thanks for your support of BadNewsBlog.

Read Something

I'm often asked by friends and colleagues for book suggestions. It's an ever-challenging task to speculate upon somebody's taste in literature, even when presented with options or a precedence of sorts for what another reader may fancy.

Different people enjoy different forms of literature, where the person's aesthetic presentation gives little insight to their preferences. As the old adage goes, you can't read a book by its cover.

My physical appearance would give an inquisitive passerby a sordid impression that I'm really into Niezstche and Sartre and critically acclaimed bandwagoneers the like, while simultaneoulsy bowing at the alter of the David Halberstam's and Dick Schaap's of the world. There was once a time when I read books I was told I would like because they were an influential artist's seminal work or some lavish and epic Tour De Force. These days I read because I want to be entertained, rather than the purpose of any form of enlightenment or to check one off the 'Must Read Before I Croak' list.

To come full-circle, if you want my advice, I'm going to suggest those books that I find entertaining. For every person who's fallen for a writer that was suggested to them or found on 'Must Read' lists, there is a person who adores the work of clandestine artists whose work is found on clearance racks masquerading as garbage heaps curbside.

The Death of the English Language: The Misuse of The Word 'Tragedy'

An aquaintance of mine in Chicago wrote an article about the misuse of the word 'tragedy' for CBS Chicago's 670 The Score site. The piece has received a fair bit of a backlash since it concerns the recent death of IRL driver Dan Wheldon at the Las Vegas Motor Speedway this past Sunday.

Tim Baffoe / CBS Chicago

While any accidental death can be considered unfortunate, as the author points out, using tragedy to define it is an innacurate application of the word. The article is well written and concerns itself not with making a controversial statement, but with simply conveying the fact that tragedy has become one of those often abused terms.

Enjoy the article and if you will, seperate yourself from any emotional attachment to an unfortunate death, and simply understand the writer's perspective.

Thanks for reading.

Scams, Albeit Entertaining Scams

Tony Sales is a 37-year old Londoner who is known to be one of England's largest and most successful fraud artists.

Vice Magazine tracked him down in London and spoke to him about his years as a fraudster and the various means by which he successfully robbed banks and other businesses of between 15 and 30 million pounds.

Rule Britannia: Fraud [Parts 1 - 3]

The three part documentary of sorts follows Sales as he shows examples of fraud and just how easily they can be carried out. Sales comes off as a likable individual, blurring the lines between criminal and a modern-day Robin Hood of sorts. It is an entertaining look into the changing nature of crime.

My hopes are that this brief documentary will entertain and inform. Identity theft is the fastest growing crime worldwide, and according to rough approximations, of a value greater than the Gross Domestic Product of England, France and Canada.

Scams, Scams, Everywhere are Scams.

No more than two years ago, I received an email from a British telecommunications company O2, claiming that I was eligible for a prize of roughly $400,000 (CDN) because my mobility provider (Fido) was working alongside O2 in attempts to spread the brand continentally. According to the professional-looking corporate email equipped with legitimate masthead and the like, I was selected at random to receive the prize and possibly take part in an interview for a Toronto news channel sharing the story of my fortune, and hence, providing a little street-level marketing for the British telecommunications provider.

Before I continue further, for those of you who are not a friend or acquaintance of mine and know me solely from these pages, I consider myself to be a bright, self-aware individual who is not easily coerced into believing things without a physical representation or scientific explanation - essentially, my tendency towards skepticism has truly hindered my imagination.

I had heard of the Nigerian Bank scams and the increase in email related frauds, and I was aware of just how little information was required for an identity theft. Nonetheless, I couldn't fight the urge to follow through on this email from O2, at least until the point when I had to put forward precious details that could be used to take advantage of other gullible innocents. To truncate an already lengthy story, I was told that in order to receive my winnings, I had to either a) fly to England, more specifically O2's offices in London or b) send an English lawyer $800.00 (CDN) to cover the taxes and tariffs on a foreigner winning a British-based contest and other fees related to having a barrister sign for my winnings, yadi yadi yadi, followed by some dense lawyer-speak. In other words, now I had to pay, one way or another, to receive my prize.

At this moment, I knew it was a scam. After feeling rather angry that I had actually considered the proposal, even if for but a second, I decided to do a little backyard detective work if you will. I phoned one of the numbers listed as legal representation. An African man with the thickest and deepest of accents answered, claiming that he was such and such, a reputable English lawyer based in Surrey, just outside the London proper. At first, he was quite polite, but following minutes of poking and prodding on my part, he became frustrated with the endless stream of questions. I told the gentleman that I would call him right back. Before doing so, I googled the name he gave me, and found the website of an actual Surrey-based lawyer who had received dozens of local awards and commendations for his work. Digging a little deeper, I was able to locate both a photograph and a home phone number for the lawyer. He was as white and frail as a snowflake. Clearly, this was not the man I spoke to on the phone, and now, I was in a position, based solely on the fact that I had myself done a little digging, to help this man 3,000 miles away, and in turn, help others avoid being scammed as well. Despite the cost of a trans-Atlantic midday cell phone call, I rang the lawyer (who'll remain nameless) and spoke to him for about ten minutes about this elaborate scam and how his identity was being used to facilitate said scam.

The lawyer was extremely gracious, and promised to contact Scotland Yard. Three days later, I received a wonderful email from the man saying the police had begun an investigation to track-down the individuals responsible, and that as of that moment, it turns out it was one of the largest scams in Europe, speculatively run by a group of Nigerian men based in England. Last week, I received another email from the lawyer outside of London. Despite nearly forgetting about the entire ordeal, he wrote to inform me that the investigation has finally come to an end and that nearly a dozen Nigerian men with English papers had been arrested and charged with a host of fraud-related charges.

If there is a message to be had from the entire ordeal; with each passing day, crime is becoming a more digital and invisible practice, where identities and financial histories are being stolen or ruined for the benefit of others. Where years ago a criminal could walk into a bank with a mask, pillowcase and Colt 45, now security has crippled physical thefts, giving rise to a new group of young, enterprising scam artists.

Hume Hits Nail On Head

For all the bashing of The Toronto Star that's been found on the pages, they do still employ a handful of talented writers. Christopher Hume covers Urban Affairs and Architecture for the paper. His concepts for the revitalization of the city's waterfront are both practical and cost-effective, and his understanding of the plight of the urban motorist and worker is without comparison.

In today's GTA section of The Star, Hume tackles an issue concerning Mayor Rob Ford that has angered me to no end; his blatant refusal to cater to the wants and needs of the suburban Torontonians and those living in the peripheries of the city. The crux of my beef centres around the Ford's cuts and further proposed cuts of the TTC (Toronto Transit Commission) not in the downtown core or affluent uptown neighbourhoods, but in Scarborough and West and North Etobicoke. The problem with such proposed cuts is that many of the people that live in said areas do not work 9 to 5 hours. These people work in kitchens or other occupations that require an effective transit system to get them home at all hours.

Mayor Rob Ford cares not for the people who were suspicious of his motivations and were abhorred by his bigotry and vaguely racist remarks. He cares about the white, middle to upper class Torontonians who supported him based solely on his fiscal policies.

Christopher Hume eloquently shares a similar opinion in today's paper, while pinpointed reasons beyond the TTC for why the Mayor has turned his rotund backside on many a Torontonian.

Toronto Star, September 26th

Enjoy and check back real soon ya hear!

Ghosts On The Underground

A brilliant website titled Top Documentary Films was recently brought to my attention by a fellow Internet junkie. The site is a database of documentaries that have been reviewed and categorized into various sub-headings and new docs are posted daily.

Since my discovery of this site, I have become semi-obsessed with consuming as many documentaries as possible in my free time. One that I would like to share and encourage all to watch is Ghosts On The Underground , a 50-some odd minute portrayal of spirits in the London tube system.

During my extended stay in London last summer, I spent a great deal of time riding the tube, randomly connecting at a hub station only to be dropped-off in a section of the city I had never been before. The documentary describes how the London tube system is the oldest functional set of tunnels in the world and that its construction beneath the streets of the capital unearthed many a mass burial ground and cemetery.

The brilliantly-produced documentary interviews many drivers and track supervisors, as well as tube riders who have seen ghosts whilst riding the trains. To temper the mass hysteria surrounding the witnessing of ghosts, the narrator introduces a scientist of sorts who measures the tubes for various low pitch sounds that can lead a person towards a sense of anxiety (i.e. a cold sensation where the hair stands-up on the back of your neck). Even he cannot deny the sense of somebody watching him while taking readings throughout the underground tunnels.

The documentary is also able to partially substantiate many of the claims by indicating deaths or burials that occurred in the area and their subsequent relation to sightings. I'm not one to become enveloped in urban myths or ghost stories, but the eerily accurate presentations made in this documentary had me asking myself questions I typically would not waste a second to consider.

Should you have 50 minutes to spare, I suggest checking out this documentary. Enjoy the site and all it has to offer, it really is a gem of the Internet.

Arsenal Manager Forecasts The Doom of European Markets

Say what you will about Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger's stubborn tactics and fandom of teenage prodigies, it cannot be denied that the man is one of the sharper minds in football today.

His typically thrifty spending in transfer markets derives not just from the confidence he has in home-grown academy talents, but also in fear of the developing nature of football finances and the impending threat of a crash of the European markets.

Have a quick look at the article linked below and ask yourself why you know less of economics than a football manager. In the article, Wenger attempts to draw parallels between the spending habits of clubs like Barcelona and Real Madrid and other companies whose debts are too great and possess too few liquid assets to have a legitimately healthy outlook for the future.

Arsenal Manager Forecasts The Doom of European Markets

And by the way, Arsenal @ Borussia Dortmund 2:45pm ET (Champions League Group Stages)

The Death of the English Language: Science Talk

For some unknown reason, whilst deeply entrenched in a near-comatose state, I was scanning an article pertaining to science in one of our national papers. Seems the writer was uncertain about an issue, and like the editors over at Bill Simmons' incarnate Grantland.com, instead of opting for some fact-checking or the use of a copy editor, decided instead just to write something completely sophmoric.

Bacteria is the plural representation of the single organism bacterium. This addresses the first fault in the article. Secondly, Bacteria and viruses are two completely different entities.

Bacteria are fully living, single-celled organisms that have a varied trove of functions, most notably, the ability to independently reproduce. Inversely, viruses are not independent living organisms. They are much more minute than a bacterium and or not able to reproduce independently, rather with the assistance of the living cell they have invaded.

It should be expected that any writer entrusted with writing an article pertaining to science, even if they are simply a beat reporter or a 'current affairs' coffee-fetching device, should do a little fact-checking when putting together a piece.

Thanks for reading and my apologies for the lack of posts these last few months. I have something special planned for my readers the next little while, so check back in tomorrow if you will and follow the re-emergence of badnewsblog.

The Death of the English Language: Via

Continuing in my efforts to identify improper usage of English words and the miscarriages of suitable writing by those employed to write, I would like to take a moment to discuss an word short in length, but of such great potential to be applied incorrectly; Via.

Via literally means 'by way of', indicating the process and direction of the trip or journey, but not the means by which said journey is achieved.

It is a proper application of the word to say, for example "That we flew from Toronto to Las Vegas via Los Angeles." The journey is from Toronto to Las Vegas, however a stop-over in Los Angeles is an essential piece of information and the usage of Via in this case is the correct literal application.

On the other hand, where it is most often applied incorrectly is to describe a means of travel; "I arrived in London via concord" or "We landed at 12:00 and reached our destination via train." Both of these instances feature a poor usage of Via

The fact that Canada's primary coast-to-coast train is named Via should only help confuse locals, but the fact of the matter is that Via should always indicate the direction of the journey, and not the means by which it's achieved.

Thanks for reading. Again, sorry for the lack of content of late - I've been a busy boy.

The Death of the English Language: Stalemates

Derived from the game of chess, stalemate is a word that is commonly misused.

I was reminded of this recently during the U.S. Debt Ceiling negotiations. Needless to say, it was a pretty popular term that was applied incorrectly nearly every time I stumbled upon it.

"No End to the Debt-Ceiling Stalemate."

The Atlantic (July 30th)

"Sen. John Kerry to House GOP: Negotiate to End Stalemate."

The State Column (August 2nd)

"The Senate on Tuesday overwhelmingly approved a plan to raise the federal debt limit and cut government spending, ending a bitter partisan stalemate that had threatened to plunge the nation into default and destabilize the world economy."

The Washington Post (July 2th)

By definition, a stalemate is not a means to an outcome, but an outcome itself. It represents an obstacle that cannot be overcome.

Stalemates don't end.

Reporters and columnists would be better suited using the terms standoff or deadlock for the next set of Debt Ceiling negotiations, that should come our way long before the return of the NBA.

The Death of the English Language: The Misuse of 'Protagonist'

Greetings and salutations my friends, allow me to extend my apologies for the lack of posts in July, barring any disasters, August will be a month of uninhibited learning.

Whenever I am faced with the unenviable task of attempting to fabricate a succession of relevant words with the ever-feared writer's block, I most often turn to that which interests me the most; crimes against our wonderful language by those entrusted with the exchange of written text.

One that I catch every so often in Entertainment sections of daily newspapers is the misuse of the term protagonist.

By definition, portagonist literally means 'first actor' from the Greek (protos and agonistes.) The word is applied to the person or character who drives or promotes the action in a work. The word protagonist is not simply the opposite of antagonist. There can be any number of antagonist in a work, whereas there can only exist a single protagonist.

Another error affiliated with the use of protagonist is the affiliation with the prefix pro and the fact that it implies a positive or admirable stance with the Latin pro-, representing 'for' or 'on behalf'. Protagonists often fit into the aforementioned category, however it is not exclusive to this, and the prefix must be considered as applied in the Greek sense, and not what the Latin origin of the same prefix may suggest.

Thanks for your continued support of this site.

FIFA Bans Mohamed Bin Hammam

On Saturday, former FIFA presidential candidate and head of The Asian Football Federation Mohamed Bin Hammam was banned for life by the governing body’s ethics committee following a two-day hearing.

The 62-year old Qatari was accused of attempting to buy votes prior to June’s presidential elections, which Bin Hammam withdrew from leaving only the incumbent Sepp Blatter to seek a 5th term.

Even for FIFA, a lifetime ban is of legitimate consequence amongst the gaggles of symbolic wrist slaps. It’s really nothing more than to say ‘Mr. Bin Hammam, of all the corrupt and conniving sons of bitches within the FIFA ranks, you are one of them.’ That one gets me every time - not that specific usage, but to say to somebody that they are simply one of many - essentially you’re just spinning the first sentence and the anticipation that follows it on its head to elicit at best a modest chuckle.

Not more than a few days ago, I heard Keith Law say something along similar lines when recently highlighting the offensive inefficiencies of a player, quoting a former coach who said; “Buddy, of all the second baseman I’ve coached, you’re one of them.” Come on, that’s a little funny no? Simple conversational humour can be just as funny as an intricate joke that builds through a set-up that leads to a punchline. A punchline that brings down the house of tent cards advertising buckets of Bud Light Lime bottles, brought to your table by a girl breaching her third trimester with a Matinee tucked behind her left ear and a visible tattoo that may in fact with no certainty either be a Seal’s face or that of a Boston terrier.

FIFA harbours the deceitful and ignorant like it’s a race towards evil against an imaginary clock. Mohamed Bin Hamman is a crooked piece of shit. I’ve mentioned him on more than one occasion in the last few months, in hopes that this would be the last mention in the hallowed internet corridors, before remembering that Qatar will be hosting a World Cup, leaving Bin Hammam with a legacy much like that of his former employer; corrupt.

Au Revoir Patrick Vieira

Earlier today, one of my top 5 favourite athletes of all-time announced his retirement from football. Patrick Vieira epitomized the skill set of an Arsenal player from those trophy winning years surrounding the millenium.


The 2003-04 Gunners were captained by the lanky #4 as they went on the accomplish a never before done feat in English football - an unbeaten season for which they were heralded as 'The Invincibles'. I remember crying unabashedly the moment Vieira hoisted the League trophy that day.



He was a wizard in the midfield who had both the softest touch and a nose for goal when necessary. The longer his career continued, the further back he dropped on the pitch, cementing his legacy as a truly brilliant footballer. He fought for Arsenal and wore the Captain's armband with pride. He stood-up for his teammates and was never afraid to confront the scum and filth of the English Premier that trolled the depths of the league looking to upset Arsenal (see Patrick vs. Keano below.)



Born in Dakar, Senegal June 23rd 1976, Patrick announced his standard on the scene at Serie A side AC Milan after a year at Cannes, before playing with Arsenal from 1996 - 2005. During that period, the team won three league titles - one unbeaten - and four FA Cup titles. Since he left, the Gunners have wallowed in a trophy-less spell of 6+ years.

He won a World Cup with France in 1998 and was a member of their Euro 2000 winning campaign as well.

As a member of the mid 2000's Gunners, Vieira played a part of my favourite team ever with the likes of Thierry Henry, Freddie Ljungberg, Dennis Bergkamp, Sylvain Wiltord, Robert Pires, Robin Van Persie, Jose Antonio Reyes, Ray Parlour, Sol Campbell and dozens more.

The goal below was the last of 'The Invicibles' season, cementing a legendary accomplishment and an unbelievable performance.



Patrick finished his career playing for the likes of Inter Milan and Man City, where last year he helped the Citizens win the FA Cup as he did with the Gunners.

I will always love Patrick Vieira. The world's greatest midfielder and the man Arsenal continues to struggle to replace. He will now continue his career in football, as the Football Developement Executive at Manchester City.



I love you Patrick.

John Hetherington: Pioneering Haberdasher

Again, my sincerest of apologies for the decline in content on this site of late. Tour de France at 8am with a friend visiting from Denmark and a new job leaves very little time for frivolous writing. Nonetheless, there's something I wanted to share with you today.

When faced with dissenting opinions from friends or peers, remember that periphery contributions mean far less than your own personal goals.

This week, when faced with a situation where judgement was cast; I recalled the famed English haberdasher John Hetherington.

On a cold January day in 1797, Hetherington walked out the doors of his studio and onto the London streets much to the surprise of passersby. Perched on his head was a top hat, constructed from the textiles used in umbrella production. Just 60 years later, the initial fears that surrounded the hat had been conquered and the top hat had become a universally acceptable and omnipresent fashion choice for people from all castes. That day, it cause a minor riot according to the story. Women screamed, crowds amassed in disgust and a small boy broke his arm after being trampled by a mass of people.

The depiction was featured in several English papers before spreading continental for publication in other publications and periodicals. Despite being challenged by many, including the wikipedia page, which challenges the verity of the story, a lesson can be learned by Hetherington's courageous decision. What was just his idea of fashion and practicality was interpreted as a statement on the conditions of menswear; where in reality it was anything but.

Hetherington was arrested shortly thereafter and charged before facing the courts to explain his audacious invention.

Worry not what others will think of your decisions. If your reasoning determines the action to be beneficial without infringing on the rights of others, then follow your instincts with nary a consideration for the opinions of others.

Dear MLB Coaches: Dump The Bunt

With the heightened importance of sabermetrics and the revisionist history that post-Moneyball baseball allows, of late, I have been paying much consideration to the changing nature of Major League Baseball and its rules.

For a sport that abhors change and the modification of its rules for the influx of technological means, the last decade has given birth to new forms of statistical measure that have been proven to be more indicative of a player’s value than those that were once thought to be of great importance (RBI’s, AVG., etc.) With these new measures comes a heightened understanding of the sport itself and the consideration of elements of the game that were once thought to be of great use; more specifically, in this instance, the true worth of the bunt.

Bunting has long been an important element of baseball, where it can serve two purposes; to advance a runner on base, or, as less frequently used, as a means of taking advantage of third or first baseman protecting the base or playing deep, in hopes of advancing the hitter to first base.

The more thought I put towards bunting, the more I find it to be wasteful, especially in the first instance. With only three outs, admittedly wasting one only to advance a runner 90 feet seems rather moronic. Actively swallowing one of the three outs to advance a runner one base severely limits the batting teams ability to accumulate runs in that inning.

For a sacrifice bunt to be useful, it would have to be executed effectively 100% of the time, and without digging through stats at MLB.com, it is safe to say that it does not always work as planned. Furthermore, the fact that a ball bunted foul on two strikes is an out and the difficult nature of holding back a bunt once an attempt to execute it is made go to great lengths to minimize its effectiveness.

For Oakland GM Billy Beane and other small-ball enthusiasts, the bunt is an important element towards the goal of chipping-away at the opposition by scoring one run innings in hopes of wining 1-0 or 2-1. This may work in the offensively challenged AL West, but try implementing that in the AL East against the Red Sox for example; score an important run in the top half of the inning, only to have the middle of Boston’s lineup come up and rattle off successive two baggers. Long story truncated; you lose.

Let’s consider a specific situation. Man on first, none out. Batter at the plate is an efficient bunter, and the dire need for a run trumps all. The batter bunts in order to a) advance the runner to second and in scoring position and b) eliminate the chance of a crippling double play. By doing so, the team is essentially giving an out to the other team to advance the player 90 feet and to effectively eliminate the opportunity for a second out. The more I think of this, the more absurd it seems. Now it’s one thing if this is the NL and the batter is Wandy Rodriguez, but it’s a completely different story if the batter is a position player. I’m almost certain he has a lineup spot not because of his ability to bunt, but because he can hit; so, let the man hit. Donating an out to narrow the odds of a second out is ridiculous. Take a hack my man – we’ll deal with the results after the fact. It should be a matter of worst-case versus best-case scenario. With bunting, the comparison of scenarios is rather narrow; it is either an out with a man on second, or the bunter fails in his attempt, resulting in one out, man still on first. If you allow the player to bat, with consideration towards trying not to ground into a DP, the disparity between scenarios widens; it’s either a DP or a two-run homerun, or a single and a man on first and third, or a double that could have scored the runner and placed the batter in scoring position at second.

The point I’m trying to make is that by letting the player hit, it increases the odds of the occurrence of more beneficial acts for the team at bat. Bunting restricts a team’s ability to be an offensive power, which also caters to the starting pitcher by reducing the pitch count and limiting the potential of a big inning.

Without implementing statistical measures into this argument, I urge readers of the blog and baseball fans alike to watch the game from a different perspective. Become members of my campaign to eliminate the bunt and let’s allow the players to do what they’re paid to do; get a bloody hit.

Tour De France Coverage

First off; my apologies for leaving the site dormant since Thursday. I have a dear friend visiting from Copenhagen and have been a little busy.

I'm halfway through something I hope to post at some point tonight; however, in the meantime, I encourage you to visit my friend's Tumblr and have a look at his archive. I am a cycling junkie that is completely amorous of the Tour De France. I would have preferred to cover some of it myself, but I suggest you visit the link below and search for the TdF in his archives. Brilliant stuff.

My friend, known only as Polk Panther, has been providing daily coverage of the Tour De France on his site. I think it's brilliant stuff.

Have a look;

Polk Panther's TDF Coverage

Anywho, I must make like a tree and fuck off. In appreciation of your support, this Bud's for you.

The Death of the English Language: Last vs. Latest

Despite having little to no free time today, I sacrificed the ten minutes I had planned on using to shave to drop some knowledge.

While it is easy to confuse the terms last and latest, there are variations between the two that lead to more adequate usage in the proper context. If you are referring to something with last, it should pertain to a final effort.

The last episode of Cheers made me cry. What the fuck is Norm going to do now?

According to that sentence, it is clear that the final episode of Cheers is the subject, as oppose to;

The latest episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians was the television equivalent of euthanasia; their last episode could not come soon enough.

See what I did there? O AN HE CRAFTY HUH. In this instance, latest refers to the most recent, not last episode.

Now, before you run-off sharing this precious nugget of information with your friends, remember, there are exceptions. Last, when used in the sense of latest, can be as impactful as an idiom and should be used only when there is no affordance for ambiguity.

Cubs catcher Soto just made up for an error in his last at bat by smoking a hanging slider from Ramirez over the fence for a 3-run home run and 13th inning walkoff win for the Cubbies.

Why the Cubs? Well, that actually just happened moments ago while I write this. Allow that to be today's sign of the impending apocalypse.

Thanks for reading.

Bon Voyage Glenn Beck, you ignorant prick.

UPDATE: Notice above, the 'word' impactful in bold. I feel like dying right now solely because I included that in a post. Impact is not a verb, thus impactful is not even close to a word. I hate my life. Sweet dreams.

Mayor Rob Ford Says No To Pride: Who Cares?

Pride festivities have kicked-off in Toronto and much of the news surrounds Mayor Rob Ford's absence from a flag-raising event held yesterday at City Hall.

Ford's stand-in, councillor Frances Nunziata was booed unmercifully by the crowd; which begs the question - why so much disdain for the absence of a man with numerous examples of bigotry and shortsightedness when it comes to minority groups and ethnicity?


Instead of attending the Pride launch party, Ford had a confidential meeting with Maple Leafs GM Brian Burke, an advocate for gay rights whose son Brendan struggled with coming out before he was killed at age 21 in a car accident last year. Burke has confirmed his participation in the march, declining to discuss Ford's absence; "I do not view it as my place to criticize the mayor of this city for a decision such as this one."

Now that's what I call a responsible answer to an impossible question.

In hopes of not making unfounded generalizations; we can assume that the city's gay community did not flock to the ballots to support Ford. Much of the urbanites dwelling in the city's core didn't either according to voting statistics, and the gay community has George Smitherman, a veteran politician and proud homosexual who had done much in the past both for the gay community and the downtown neighbourhood on Church Street many call home.

If I was a part of a fledgling minority group who knew the Mayor didn't support my cause, would I be angry he's refused in invitation to Pride festivities? Not at all. It would be a disingenuous appearance at best, and to Ford's credit, why would he want to be part of a celebration that would likely see him mocked by large groups?

The story is splashed across the front page of many of the city's papers, most with a picture of the oft-smiling Ford being grilled by reporters and Nunziata looking as bewildered as a deer stuck firmly in the headlights of an oncoming 18-wheeler. It's to be expected from many arms of the media such Anti-Ford posturing, but it's becoming a case of Much Ado About Nothing as far as I'm concerned.

I'm not a big supporter of Rob Ford, more so for his stance on the arts and bicycle lanes prior to his appointment, then for his bigotry. Fact is, the man is our Mayor and he has since changed his positioning on a few key postulates, including the installation of bike lanes amongst others, and all signs point to fiscal responsibility amidst a mess of non-partisan opinions and needs at City Hall.

Is he the ideal Mayor for a city built on multi-ethnicities and the needs of minority groups? Probably not.

Should he be scolded for refusing to attend festivities which he clearly does not support? In the opinion of this website, the response would be a resounding no.

Let the man go to his cottage as planned Canada Day Weekend. When the city has many politicians and councillors such as the aforementioned Smitherman and noted gay rights supporter Kyle Rae planning to attend, can't we give the Mayor a break?

It's just not his thing.

Colangelo Shows Balls, Drafts Jonas Valanciunas

Following the Raptors decision to draft 19-year old Jonas Valanciunas of Lithuania with the 5th pick in Thursday's nights NBA Draft, I was a skeptical as many a Raptor's fan.


Initially, the need for defense and a quick remedy to a succession of lacklustre seasons leaped to mind as a priority. In hindsight, my opinion of the pick has gone from mildly negative to unabashedly optimistic.

The fact of the matter is, North American-bred NBA players aren't exactly flocking to Toronto vis-a-vis trade or free agency; I'm not completely certain why, but they don't. In reality, the city's multiethnic community and emerging waterfront adjacent to the ACC would cater perfectly to many an NBA player if they only gave it a chance.

Problem is, the Raps cannot become a perennial playoff competitor by simply filling stop-gaps through free agency, they have to build a core of young players who actually want to play here.

Much of the criticism towards GM Bryan Colangelo is that Jonas is under contract to play with his club team in Lithuania for another season, and barring a miracle, will not suit up for the team until the 2011-12 season. Considering he's 19, 7 feet tall with a 7'4 wingspan and a 9'3 reach, I think we can wait a year.

Kudos to Colangelo for making a risky move, especially considering he just signed a 2-year contact extension with a club option for the third. Most GM's would have overreacted and drafted the best available athlete on the board ready to play next season.

Yes, Jose Calderon is a liability at the 1 and his back-up Jerryd Bayless is rubbish, but drafting UConn's Kemba Walker or Kentucky's Brandon Knight would not have provided a defined starting point guard, while Valanciunas might be the most talented player in the draft.

He will play defense in the blocks and be able to post-up any player in the league. He has the look of a star and seems elated to eventually join the Raptors.

Considering this year's draft was lacklustre at best, Colangelo may have drafted the best available player regardless of contractual obligations to his club in Europe. Say all you will about the Raps and their penchant for signing European players, but 6 of the first 7 picks of the draft were born outside of the United States. Perhaps Colangelo deserves more praise and a little less criticism. Only time will tell. Thanks for reading kids.

The Death of the English Language: Gender Trolls

Let me preface today's entry by saying I'm bitter, unemployed and it just rained for the duration of my lunchtime barbecue party of one, only to stop the moment I came indoors. Such is my life, and without it, I probably wouldn't have any luck at all.

*Also, off-topic but really, perpetually on; for those who like to slip a little 'entire' before your 'durations' because you fancy upping the word count, think again, duration implies an entirety, requiring no quantification at all.

Onward with the nitpicking; today have I got a treat for y'all(s).

"Because of his gender, Lawrence Taylor had trouble getting into the girls locker room at St. Peter's School for Young Girls in Camden, New Jersey."

Ripped from the headlines, like an episode of Law & Order: Who The Fuck Cares Unit, is this doozy of a quote. (I lied; that quote is fabricated - also, I didn't lose my virginity when I was 13. I was 8.)

The word gender, in this case qualifies the subject, Mr. Taylor, and is substituted for sex (Haha yes please, I'll have two.)

Gender was originally employed as a grammatical term, until the 19th century when it became a euphemism for those too conservative to echo the word sex. While the taboo surrounding the word sex has diminished, gender is still the preferred word when referring to a person's sex.

I say fuck off to all these modern interpretations and applications of words. Can we not at least make the most minute of efforts towards this cause or do I have to have buttons made?

Be off with yourselves. Tell the woman you love that you barely tolerate her, grab a twelve of something cheap and get ready for the NBA Draft. If you don't hear from me tomorrow, it's because the Raptors drafted another white guy and I've killed myself.

FIFA Corruption: Jack Warner Steps Down.

Yesterday, FIFA vice president and CONCACAF chief Jack Warner stepped down amidst a several months long corruption scandal into a $1 million bribery for Caribbean World Cup votes and potentially fixing the June 1st Presidential Elections.

In hopes of retaining his position as Minister of Transport and Works in his native Trinidad and Tobago, reports state that Warner followed Mohamed Bin Hammam of Qatar by voluntarily stepping down to quell speculations of corruption. Reports suggest that Warner's post in Trinidad is of great value and unethical business practices with FIFA could negatively affect his tenure. Just last week, Warner was influential in his decisions to replace a sewer lid and have a boulder removed from a section of busy gravel-topped road by a group of schoolchildren for a modest fee of a thousand dollars and the first-born children of anyone involved.

If you prescribe to the logic that FIFA is the most corrupt sporting entity in the world, Warner's voluntary removal also helps FIFA President Sepp Blatter's case, as two of the most senior and controversy riddled henchmen have stepped down before further investigations could take place to identify said examples of unethical practices.

Before I go, may I remind everyone that you are free to share your opinions below in the comment section. A Google ID is not required if you choose to comment anonymously. Any comments are appreciated; even if they are comprised of poo and pee humour and a brazen disregard of functional grammar and spelling.

The Ethics of Rioting - A Ridiculous Argument From The Toronto Star

In what must seem like old news, today's Toronto Star features a column from 'ethics' writer Ken Gallinger that questions the ethics of witnesses to the riots and friends of rioters who identified suspects using tagging features on a popular social media sites.

The author of said article does his mightiest to call into question the ethics of a person identifying a culprit without using common channels such as first notifying authorities.

The article is below in italics, used without permission from the Toronto Star.


Q: In the aftermath of the Vancouver riots, people are posting pictures on social media “tagging” supposed culprits for all the world to see? Is this right?

A: One ugly act usually begets another.

The performance of the Canucks during the latter half of the finals was, let’s face it, pretty ugly — not ethically ugly, but in Canada the boundary between hockey and ethics is soft at the best of times. The on-ice shambles predictably led to on-street shambles that the whole world now knows about. Canadians feel rightly humiliated; in most parts of the world, such scenes are motivated by human rights abuses, power hungry governments, oppression of the poor. In Canada, we riot because Luongo can’t stop frozen rubber. Good grief.

But if the riots were ugly, the spate of social media vigilantism isn’t pretty either.

People who witness a crime have an ethical obligation to report what they’ve seen to the police. Nowadays, when everyone carries a camera in their techno-umbilical cord, it’s often possible to record evidence and pass that on, too. As we learned in the case of Robert Dziekanski, Tasered to death in, yes, Vancouver’s airport, such video evidence can make the difference between bringing bad guys to justice or setting them free.

The Dziekanski case, however, also underlines that police can’t always be trusted with the evidence. There were attempts to withhold that video from the public, and it was released only when the cops were forced to do so. That, along with less savoury motives, is why it’s de rigueur to skip the cops entirely, and go straight to the public, via social media.

But that’s dangerous. Cameras generally point one direction. Riot images tell what those in front of the camera were doing — but show nothing of what the person behind the camera was up to. Clearly, these amateur photogs were in the midst of the action, and (one can surmise) enjoying what was going on. They didn’t choose to go home.

The images I’ve seen establish who was there, but there’s nothing illegal about being in the streets of Vancouver at night. Some establish that those before the lens did little to stop the looting and violence, but was the picture taker any different? And one, at least, shows a man we’ve now decided was a ‘hero’ for protecting the Bay store — but do we know what he was doing one minute before the video was recorded? Or five minutes after? After all, he chose to be at the scene of the crime, like everyone else.

A picture may be worth a thousand words. But a thousand words can tell a lie as easily as the truth. People with pictures of that terrible night are free to post them, insofar as they establish the disgusting scene that unfolded. But as far as “tagging” the culprits, that’s a task best left, in the first instance, to the cops.

When the cops fail to do their job, however, as in the Dziekanski case or the more recent assault of Dorian Barton during the G20 in Toronto, then, and only then, it’s fair and right for those with evidence to go straight to the public.

First he points out that we have an ethical obligation to report crimes to authorities, but alas, often times said authorities cannot be trusted with such evidence. Comparing it to the case of a man killed by police tazers is an absolute waste of print when he ends up theorizing that capturing a brief moment on film and casting judgement based on it might be unfair.

Jesus H Christ, get off your bloody high horse and realize that a picture of a person stuffing a sock dipped in lighter fluid in a police car's gas tank is evidence enough that the person captured on film deserves to be punished. What he did leading up to those actions are immediately there after have far less bearing on the incident than does the incident itself.

It is not only fair to resort to such means when police fail to adequately perform their duties, as the author suggests, because it is impossible for justice to be brought against an unruly crowd when the police are taking a passive wait-and-see approach.

Let's reward those that used social media as a means of bringing others to justice when the police are unable without questioning the ethics of it.

Book Of The Week: Father's Day Edition - Joy In Mudville

My dad doesn't care much for Father's Day. To him, it's just another day, but for me it has become a day to reflect on just how blessed I am to have a father as wonderful and as loving as my own.

Without getting into too much detail in fears of divulging family secrets; my dad wasn't required to be the amazing father he is to me, but he was, and to this day, he is still the person I call when faced with both obstacles in life and the joys of accomplishments.

Today presents a perfect opportunity to share with you what my father shared with me; the love of reading and a deep understanding of baseball literature. Atop the list of books my father has either given me or loaned permanently never to be returned is Joy In Mudville: The Big Book of Baseball Humour.



The collection of essays, drawings and articles features many of the sport's heavy hitters, including Ring and John Lardner, Roger Angell and Garrison Keillor. There are contributions from ex-players (Yogi Berra), cartoonists (Charles Schulz and Bill Watterson) and that special brand of sports writer that waxes nostalgic while making many a reader cringe (Mitch Albom.)

An excerpt from the book's sleeve says it best; "Who's funnier? Casey Stengel or Yogi Berra? Ring Lardner or John Lardner? Alibi Ike or Babe Herman? Garrison Keillor or Russell Baker? The Dodgers or The Mets? Calvin Trillin or Marv Throneberry? They're all here, and so are such literary sluggers as Philip Roth, Robert Coover or George Plimpton; such poets of Broadway as Damon Runyon and Jimmy Breslin; such playwrights as Herb Gardner and Neil SImon; such sports columnists as Mitch ALbom, Ira Berkow, Mike Downey and Tony Kornheiser."

If you love baseball, or any of the aforementioned writers and artists, this is a must-read collection.

Every time I pick-it up for a read, it reminds me of playing catch with my father in the backyard, Jays game blaring on the radio with me struggling with my two-seamer, all ears, absorbing all of the knowledge my father has to bestow.

Call your dad, or even better yet, find the man and give him a giant hug will you?

Lebron James: Paradoxically Yours

Cut me a slice of humble pie - and while your at it - how about one for yourself.

With no consideration paid to his season and an uncharacteristically sub-par playoff performance; I think an unfair amount of unreasonable hatred has been directed towards Lebron James.

Following 'The Decision', Akron's own became a lightning rod for criticism from sports writers and fans alike. Much of this criticism was deserved immediately after the televised declaration, as Lebron's method and its representation of all that is wrong with sports became a focal point. He represented the spoiled superstar capable of holding one franchise by hold, while the jobs of front office executives and season ticket subscriptions hung in the balance for a half dozen teams vying for Lebron.

Beyond the Kornheisers and Wilbons of the world spouting vitriolic diatribes towards the man on national television, both sports fans and atheist alike found commonality in a general consensus of dislike towards Lebron. Momentum gained all the while Lebron and teammates made promises of multiple championships with generous helping of speculative cocksure.

As a collective, much of the Lebron hate surrounds his decision to join a fellow top 5 player and NBA title winner Dwyane Wade and perennial all star Chris Bosh in Miami.

For me, this is the most unfair element; we put such a great value on winning, but criticize the man for making the decision that arguably gave him the best chances to do exactly that. Bill Russell sits comfortably within the pantheon of greats; why? Because he won 11 Nba Titles, including Two as a player/coach. Part of the reason for why Jordan has been anointed the greatest of all time is because he won 6 rings in 6 opportunities and topped-it-off by winning MVP in each of those series. Recently, with Nowitzki winning his first title, conversations on sports radio and television argue whether he is a greater player than those who never hoisted the Larry O'Brien trophy like Charles Barkley and Karl Malone.

Considering how much of winning depends on variables like teammates and opposition, perhaps too much value is put on winning as both a statistical measure and a barometer for a player's legacy. Regardless, if winning is everything, I think we should give the man a break for his decision to join Miami.

Everything else is open-game - and please; don't get me wrong, ny no means am I implying that I suddenly like the guy - I don't. Let's just give the man a little extra rope to work with.

Time, Time, Everywhere is Time

People are lazy.

We spend so much effort vegetating, consumed by a voluntary, yet crippling malaise, that in other aspects of our lives, a great deal of value is put on saving time.

Time cannot be saved.

Though quantifiable, the linear measure of time cannot be accumulated, nor wasted; simply put, the most resourceful of us, those who excel at time management and epitomize the term busy bodies, have as much time in the day as do those who laugh in the face of productivity.

Sure, our existence on Earth is a finite measure.

The blue-haired lady celebrating her centennial splashed across the cover of the Springfield Coupon Clipper has lived a far longer life than that of a newborn who succumbs to a debilitating congenital disease, nevertheless, in a single day, they have both had 24 hours with which to operate.

Time can be allocated efficiently, but still, cannot be created or destroyed, only manipulated.

Just because you skipped your morning run in order to arrive at the office at 7 instead of 8 to deal with the mountainous collection of files on your desk; it doesn't mean time was saved.

Not a single minute of it in fact.

For all of the Earth's mysteries and concepts comprehensible that plainly escape the grasps of my understanding; if there were but a few things I believe with absolute certitude - this is it.

Of course, this understanding of time is a planetary notion below the hypotheses and deductions of quantum physicists and the possible manufacturing of the time-space continuum. If you'd fancy reading about theorems of time, may I suggest Timothy Ferris and the like.

The point is, time is not ours to save or waste, it is only ours to manipulate in a fashion that appeases our anxieties and limits our fears.

Just some thoughts - as always, thanks for reading.

The Death of the English Language: Have's and the Have Knots.

Recall earlier, during one of my "Death of the English Language" diatribes, when I discussed the concept of "Light Years" and its common misapplication.

The term is often confused as a measure of velocity, whereas it actually represents a measure of distance. When misinterpreted, people assume that by stating something is light years away, that it applies to a time unknown but still quantifiable.

Since both time and distance are linear measurements, technically the misuse of the term is not incorrect, but usually applied incorrectly with regards to the context.

Seems like I'm nitpicking a bit doesn't' it?

That brings us to today's seat-of-my-pants tutorial on "Knots" of the nautical variety.

You'll never catch a sailor making this mistake; but many a writer has used "knots per hour", when knots is a measure of nautical miles an hour. Writing "knots per hour" is redundant and technically means "knots per hour, per hour."

Hopefully reading that made you cringe half as much as I did whilst typing it.

Thanks for reading - find a patio tonight, consume an unquantifiable number of beers on an empty stomach and vomit incontrollably on the diaper changing station in the women's bathroom as a symbol of the disgust you see in the inequality of modern child rearing methods.

The Death of the English Language: Proverbials

Greetings friends - just a brief note today concerning something that has bothered me for quite sometime.

The unnecessary usage of the word proverbial bothers me to no end. When somebody utters a sentence that is inherently proverbial, it does not require a statement intimating that it is.

You just hit the proverbial nail on the head.

Or even worse; a true abortion of the English language;

You just hit the proverbial nail on the proverbial head.

Jesus H. Christ; you have given me no other option but to eat your first born progeny before regurgitating it on a bed of mixed greens before lightly covering it with a drizzle of a bitter vinaigrette.

All that requires being said is; You just hit the nail on the head.

Unless the person you are addressing is actually framing a home by driving a nail into a 2X4, it is commonly understood that it is proverbial.

The only exception to this is when the sentence actually refers to a proverb, the difference being that a proverb is a fixed expression, whereas a proverbial expression allows room for alteration.

Since I don't feel obligated to search for an actual proverb, I'll assume that if your read this site you are inherently brilliant and require no further explanation of the difference between the two.

I will now leave you to enjoy the second half of the Mavs game. But, before I go, remember that proverbial statements differ slightly from idiomatic expressions. Should you require a brief refresher on what Idioms are; search the column on the right for Idioms, certain that I've already covered that.

Blatter Wins FIFA Presidency - Appoints Kissinger - People Worldwide Scream 'What The Fuck' In Unison.

As covered below, Joseph S. Blatter beat an army of hungry and ethical aspiring FIFA heads in today's election. By that, of course I mean he beat himself to capture his 4th term as the head of football's governing body.

Amidst much speculation and finger-pointing concerning allegations of unethical and corrupt practices, Blatter announced today that he has asked former Secretary of State and controversial proponent of Realpolitik Henry Kissinger to be on a "committee of wise persons."

You can read more about the appointment of Mr Kissinger here [ESPN] - but my interest is not in taking an objective approach like our friends at the World Wide Leader.

Before I delve into my opinion of Henry Kissinger, I'd like to preface the entire discussion by pointing out that Kissinger is German-born, an avid supporter of the beautiful game and in 1978, was appointed the Chairman of the North American Soccer League [NASL] Board of Directors and had a part in the U.S. bid for the 2022 World Cup. Motivations are clear - he has his experiences with soccer and is fit for a bi-annual conference call with a hefty stipend; while a corrupt body like FIFA is surely seeking to improve it's tattered image by hiring a renowned political mind and mediator like Kissinger.

What does irk me about the whole situation is the bizarre impression people have of Kissinger. His opinion seems to be of the utmost importance to people far more intelligent and powerful than Blatter and he is paid exorbitant amounts of money to speak at colleges and before groups. The problem I have with all of this is that he has had his hand in genocides, ethnic cleansings, government over turnings and coups that have been wisely veiled and celebrated by many American policy makers and Presidents. Sure, it is not as easy to find direct evidence of all of his human rights violations and practices of sacrificing innocents for the greater good of the implementation of democratic governments, and we owe much of that to aforementioned politicians who chose to seek acclaim than responsibility, but he is a controversial figure nonetheless.

Much of my opinion of Kissinger stems from two experiences.

Firstly, during a 4th year International Diplomacy class, we were asked to compose a lengthy thesis-like argument for or against a significant diplomat or politician by comparing the chosen subject to others. I compared Henry Kissinger with Chilean dictator General Augusto Pinochet and Serb tyrant Slobodan Milosevic. The more I researched the more I began to realize that the only thing that separated these three individuals was their relation to the U.S. Government.

The three men all had their rotund hands in the same cookie jar, yet Kissinger is regarded in a far more positive light than the others in the annals of time because he was protected by the American heads of state that employed and consulted Kissinger.

Winning the Nobel Peace Prize in hindsight may have been better awarded elsewhere.

The second reason I have a strong opinion of Henry Kissinger is because I was heavily influenced by the prose of no-nonsense writer Christopher Hitchens in his scathing tour-de-force The Trial Of Henry Kissinger. In his text, Hitchens is able to eloquently describe the prevalent double-standard that I am currently struggling to emulate; Kissinger is an evil man who is praised because his radical decisions brought about change. For the most part, this change was influential and reared the U.S. and other nations in a direction of political and diplomatic responsibility and sobriety. However, there are the other instances where Kissinger's consultations proved costly for other parties involved. In Hitchens' book, he plays the role of the prosecution with Kissinger on trial for his human rights violations in Indochina, Bangladesh, Cyprus, Chile and East Timor.

Kissinger was the Secretary of State between the years 1973 - 77 under presidents Richard Nixon and Gerald Ford.

In lieu of time constraints, rather than list his positive contributions with thorough explanations, I'll attempt to truncate this entire mess by pointing-out that detente policies strengthened Soviet- U.S. relations and led to increased channels of discussion with Mao's China. Strategic relations and meetings concerning disarmament proved fruitful and there's really no way of knowing long-term just how beneficial such relations were. Before this, the path to China was an uncertain one, and without a doubt, Kissinger's involvement did pave the way for discussions between the U.S. and its Cold War opponents.

Beyond this, Kissinger's influence on the state of world politics cannot be denied; unfortunately, many of his consultations have led to human rights violations and the deaths of countless innocent people.

During the Vietnam war, Kissinger worked under Richard Nixon and assisted the president in fulfilling the primary postulate of his platform by pulling American troops out of Vietnam and entrusting power and in increased enabling in the hands of the South Vietnamese Army. In order to do this, Kissinger advised Nixon to debilitate the opposing forces of the North Vietnamese army (Vietnam People's Army of PAVN) and the National Front for the Liberation of South Vietnam, a Communist guerrilla organization. To do so, Kissinger ordered a secret bombing campaign in Cambodia to disrupt PAVN and Viet Cong forces striking South Vietnam from its southern border shared with Cambodia. The attacks killed an estimated 40,000 Cambodian combatants and innocent civilians and despite fracturing the Communist encirclement of Phnom Penh, which gave rise to an increased participation from Cambodia militant Khmer Rouge. As Hitchens argues, the long-term effects of the decision are still visible today with regards to the state of Cambodia and militant factions in southeast Asia.

In 1970, Chile elected Socialist Party nominee Salvador Allende president, causing serious concern in Washington concerning his socialist platform. Beyond the threat a Socialist government caused to the West, the U.S. had a stake in Chile with American owned and regulated copper mines and the feared nationalization of such resources. A 40-chair committee led by Kissinger elected to surreptitiously promote a coup in Chile to oppose Allende's tenure. Soon enough, the Chilean Supreme Court accused Allende of numerous infractions including the support of armed groups, torture, illegal arrests, muzzling the press, confiscating private property and not allowing nationals to leave the state. The accusations were deemed unconstitutional and were dropped for lack of evidence, but despite this, the seeds of overthrow had been planted, and during a military coup in 1973, Allende committed suicide. With Allende out of the picture, the man who led the group, General Augusto Pinochet took control of the country. What was initially a planned intervention to suppress the potential threats of socialism, turned into a 20+ year reign of terror at the hands of Pinochet and his oligarchic rule. Thousands of human rights violations in Chile have been reported, not the least of which were unconstitutional executions without proper evidence and a slew of other violations that crippled the Chilean state. Even with all the documentation that depicts Pinochet's support from Kissinger and his committee and the numerous human rights violations, Pinochet died without even a slap on the wrist and Kissinger lives to influence FIFA and drive people like myself absolutely ape shit.

As Hitchens suggests, there were countless other incidents in Bangladesh, Cyprus and East Timor that have forever tarnished Henry Kissinger's legacy; I unfortunately do not have the time to account for all of these, nor am I seeing one red cent for this extended diatribe.

The point I hope to have adequately conveyed is that while many place Kissinger on a pedestal reserved for the masters of diplomacy and influence of modern history, the man is as guilty of as many human rights violations and inexcusable sacrifices as many of the world leaders we have crucified for their acts - and now the prick is working for the most corrupt non-governmental organization this side of the Russian Mob.

FIFA Presidential Elections: Something Fishy

Following a week of allegations and corruption scandals, football's governing body FIFA held elections today for their most powerful position.

The incumbent, Sepp Blatter, was poised to run against Qatari football chief Mohamed Bin Hammam, until the FIFA Ethics Committee's slap on the wrist forced Bin Hammam to remove himself from the running (see his humble quote posted below.)

Without competition, it appears as if nothing stands in the way of Blatter's pursuit to continue his 13-year run at the helm, and in doing so, reduce the world's softwood lumber reserves and the colour cartridges in FIFA's Epson 1000.



Best wishes to FIFA in their long-term plan to become the world's most corrupt entity.

UPDATE:

Blatter has upset his main rival, himself, in winning a 4th term as President of FIFA.

Rumour has it the 2026 World Cup will either be hosted by Qatar, again, or Mars, who have sent delegates to Blatter's home in Zurich to convince him of the viability of having a World Cup take place in a tropical, zero gravity environment.

The City: An Album

A collection of photos taken in and around the city on either a decent camera or a shitty Blackberry.

In this instance; shitty Blackberry on Sherbourne Street, outside of Tridel Presentation Centre.

FIFA Corruption: Bin Hammam Steps Down

As a follow-up of sorts concerning yesterday's analysis of the corruption allegations surrounding FIFA, the many vying for both the title of the World's Most Fraudulent Award and the FIFA Presidential Nomination, (two things that ARE mutually inclusive) Mohamed Bin Hammam of Qatar has removed himself from the running for FIFA's top gig.

One day, the Ethics Committee, assuming they are not themselves corrupt, will release findings that should suggest that Qatar receiving the World Cup was a work of Black Magic, but in the meantime, let's reflect on this thoughtful quote from Bin Hammam.

"I cannot allow the name that I loved to be dragged more and more in the mud because of competition between two individuals. The game itself and the people who love it around the world must come first. It is for this reason that I announce my withdrawal from the presidential election."

UPDATE:

FIFA Ethics Committee Suspends Two - ESPN

FIFA Ethics Committee Seeks New Members

[Geneva] A report out of Switzerland suggests that FIFA is planning to surrepticiously appoint a new member to its Ethics Committee in time for the investigations surrounding allegations of bribery for President Sepp Blatter and his main rival, Mohamed Bin Hammam.

Blatter, Bin Hammam and president of the CONCACAF conferation, Jack Warner, have been targeted in an investigation following a report by Chuck Blazer, a fellow member of the committee.

In hopes to quash the allegations and rumours of misconduct and corruption, FIFA has presented a shortlist of possible appointees to the Ethics Committee. The Committee, formed in 2006, hopes to determine the truth behind possible violations of several stipulations of FIFA's Ethics Code.

The Committee is comprised of 13 members who act independantly of the organization to provide a system of checks and balances.

The list features the names of several prominent leaders who have been fingered for their principles and ethical values. Of the 8 nominees, 7 are well-known, with the final being an unknown darkhorse of sorts.

The list of possible appointees as presented by FIFA;

Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (AKA Caligula)(Roman)
General Augusto Pinochet (Chile)
Dick Ebersol (Ex-NBC Sports Boss)
Pontius Pilate (The Anti-Jesus)
Ferdinand Marcos (Phillipines)
Bernie Madoff (Federal Correctional Facility)
Robert Mugabe (Zimbabwe)
Mohamed "MoneyBags" Blatter (Swiss/Qatar)

FIFA has informed the media that the results of the internal vote will be presented next Monday following a bake sale on behalf of Sepp Blatter's legal fees for sexual assault allegations.

The Death of the English Language: Dangling Modifiers

An element of the English language that can be as equally as entertaining as it can be frustrating is the implementation and confusion surrounding Dangling Modifiers.

Most commonly, dangling modifiers, also known as a dangling participles, are a result of an unattached present participle in a sentence, fragmented by the placement of a comma. Being a bit of a punctuation whore, I often encounter sentences where a dangling modifier exist, which to the trained eye can lead to chuckles accompanied later by sighs and frustration.

How about an example;

"When slathered in spicy mustard and topped with sauerkraut, nobody can deny the sanctity of a grilled hot dog."

In this instance, the notion following the comma should apply directly to that before the punctuation. The careless mispositioned words in this case implies that the person (nobody) is slathered in spicy mustard and topped with sauerkraut - which from personal experience, I must add, requires both goggles and an industrial strength gag reflex.

A simple means of avoiding such obstacles would be to make certain that the word which follows the comma applies directly to the idea in the previous sentence.

"When slathered in spicy mustard and topped with sauerkraut, a grilled hot dog is an item of the utmost sanctity that nobody can deny."

Not perfect, yet still exponentially better than the its first incarnation.

Let's have a look at another example;

"In addition to being affordable and lightweight, Michael claims that midgets are perfect for families of any size."

According to this sentence, the dangling modifier suggests that Michael is affordable and lightweight, which in my case, would be incorrect as only 1 of the 2 apply.

In order to have a decent understanding of dangling modifiers and the confusion that often arises from their usage, we must first acknowledge the exceptions. Several participle phrases perform the exact same function as a preposition or conjunction, including; concerning, generally speaking, judging and speaking of amongst others.

Many great writers have used sentences that feature dangling modifiers, not because they are poor at their craft, but because often the mispositioned participles reads better than the corrected version.

The purpose of this blog is not to lambaste those that use them or imply that they are novice writers, but to point out that often, sentences with dangling modifiers may suggest something the writer may have not have intended all together.

Ruminations 20.0

Greetings and salutations my friends - today I am in an inexplicably foul mood, where more often than not, I resort to ventilating all of the negativity buried deep within the bowels of my soul.

As it sit here, within the hallowed walls of my room, pondering my existence, staring at two boiled hot dogs adorned with Kraft singles, I wonder why some people are employed to butcher the english language, whilst I sit uncomfortably, plugging away at an existence that may prove to be as fruitful as placing my reproductive loins in a paper shredder.

Nonetheless, I continue in my plight, striving to be the best that I can be. On that note, why the fuck do some writers suck at their jobs so fucking much.

I read something yesterday in one of our city's major newspapers that made my blood boil into a delightful reduction. On more than one occasion, I have gone out of my way to call out this paper that will remain anonymous today, only because sometimes I even irritate myself with the grating soliloques spewed upon these pages.

The author was attempting to describe a person using a ladder for the purposes of a rescue.

Simply put, a person cannot climb down an object, as climbing implies only going upward. Because of this, saying that a person is 'climbing up' an object is equally as novice and infuriating as it would be to say that a person is 'climbing down a ladder'.

It's a rather simple error, that only a trained eye would catch, but it is an error nontheless. An error that went unnoticed by the writer, and even worse, flew below the radar of the copy editor.

Just wanted to share that with you, my beloved concubine of aspiring wordsmith, in hopes that we can all make an effort not to write stupid shit.

Lance Armstrong EPO Allegations: Turning a Blind Eye

Whether or not you caught tonight's episode of 60 Minutes, if you're a sports fan you've likely heard of American professional cyclist Tyler Hamilton's admission that he used performance enhancing drugs while competing both internationally as a member of the United States national team and as a rider for various teams.

During tonight's episode, which features the aforementioned admissions which were leaked earlier last week, Hamilton not only admits his faults, but also points the finger at one of the most influential athletes of this generation; Lance Armstrong.

Lance's 7 Tour De France victories are as great of an accomplishment as was his fight with cancer and the millions of people worldwide inspired by his battle, and subsequently the 'Livestrong' campaign responsible for the widespread popularity of yellow armbands.

Hamilton and Armstrong were teammates for the United States Postal team during Armstrong's victories in 1999, 2000 and 2001. He claims that he witnessed Armstrong using EPO, a controversial and popular enhancement drug used by cyclists.

While many would consider Hamilton's admissions to be a testament of his integrity, I question the purpose of pointing the finger at Armstrong, a man whose struggle transcended the very sport he competed in, a sport ripe with positive drug tests and even more allegations, a sport whose profile grew exponentially in the U.S. because of his conquests and a man whose suffering motivated countless of people worldwide to fight the symptoms of cancer and overcome whatever obstacles may present themselves as a result of the illness.

I commend Hamilton for returning the Gold Medal he won at the 2004 Olympics, but the initial test was found to have traces, and were it not for the fact the second test sample was accidentally frozen, he would have lost his medals then, 7 years before tonight's admission of guilt.

Acclaimed author and Detroit Free Press columnist Mitch Albom (Tuesdays With Morrie), echoes many of the sentiments I've expressed above with this short clip courtesy of ESPN. A man so well versed in humanizing professional sports once again conveys the importance of turning a blind eye to certain violations for the greater good.



Last week, another former teammate of Armstrong's and fellow professional American rider George Hincapie came-out and announced that he too had seen Lance inject himself with something thought to have been EPO. As in with the Hamilton case, though Hincapie's statement is not a self-serving as the brash Hamilton's, it brings to mind the same question.

Even if Lance Armstrong had taken drugs like many of the world's greatest riders, including my favourite Ivan Basso from CSC, who was suspended for his usage, does his accomplishments both on and off the roads perform a greater good than that of any other athlete of our time.

More so, the prevalence of performance enhancing drugs in cycling should come as little surprise to those that follow the sport like yours truly. A grueling and debilitating exhibition that often requires consecutive day's worth of 200km+ rides through mountainous terrain, dangerously breaching the limits of physical constraints and VO2 Max. Because of such conditions, riders and their coaches and managers are in a constant search of new means of improving their performances. Blood doping sounds like a terrible procedure, but really it's only allowing the riders blood to become more oxygenated, thus improving stamina, and as a result, performance.

It can be considered a double standard of sorts to fault one person, yet not another, but is it that wrong to turn a blind eye when the accused has been both an idol and a role model to countless people and the face of American cycling?

Perhaps so more reasoning on the parts of Mr. Hincapie and Hamilton would have been more beneficial than the lack of foresight they displayed with their admissions and allegations.

Ruminations 19.0

In lieu of the fact I can't think of anything brilliant to say, let me use my soap box once more as a means of venting a little.

Tyler, the Creator has quickly supplanted himself as a new, refreshing voice in the hip hop world, blending west coast skate culture and obscene lyrics. His Odd Future collective were the darlings of this year's SXSW music bonanza in Austin, Texas, catering perfectly to the insatiable desires of the hipster crowd.

Calgary duo Tegan and Sara recently were quoted as saying they are frustrated by his the vulgarity of his sexist and homophobic statements, calling for some ethics in the hip hop world. The two openly gay singers are only stoking the same fire that has led to Tyler's meteoric rise to fame.

Are we so ignorant that we take hip hop lyrics personally? A craft built on storytelling with a backbone of lies and deceit could not be in itself morally responsible could it? Are Tegan and Sara doing nothing more than providing fuel for his fire, helping spread his name by criticizing his message?

Take a moment and do what I've attempted to do on a few occasions here with my 'Things I've Learned From Rap Music' installments - when we focus too much on the message, are we not forgetting the entire purpose?

Marshall Mcluhan's Medium is The Message stance could not ring more true.

Debunking The Jose Bautista Phenomenon

Blue Jays everyman Jose Bautista has been ripping the cover off the ball for a little more than a year now. What was once a promising career of an early round Pittsburgh Pirates draft pick, fizzled until being traded to the Blue Jays prior to the 2008 season.

Initially, Bautista's play showed some promise and the potential to meet the expectations that baseball insiders and scouts alike shared when he was on the cusp of Major League Baseball.

Following two seasons with the Jays that typified the standard of a league average player, Bautista broke-out in 2010 to lead baseball in home runs with 54. Were it not for his .267 avg., he would have likely won the American League MVP award as well.

Thus far, Bautista has 16 home runs in 41 games played, 4 more than the nearest competitor and 2 less than the Minnesota Twins have as a club. Initial speculation that Bautista is simply the next in line of hundreds of players to tarnish the game with use of performance enhancing drugs was quickly put to rest through analysis of the numbers.

The following chart courtesy of Beyond The Boxscore and SB NATION analyses his last 3 seasons and the data from this year, to show that he is hitting the ball to left field more than ever, has a better b to strike and walks to strikeout ratio and ground ball to fly ball ratio.

His meteoric rise is due only to better patience at the plate and an understanding of what his skills are, and where his weaknesses exist.

Click on the graph below in the event you wish to actually read the size 2 font.



In the last few years, baseball has enjoyed a bit of a renaissance because of the influx of sabremetrics and the sports nerds that follow them. When Oakland A's General Manager Billy Beane changed the face of the game by instituting the Moneyball scheme, he also changed the way statisticians put value on certain stats.

Beane's novel approach identified that there was more to constructing a winning team than great pitching and power hitters. You need speed, strong defense, a blend of ground ball and fly ball pitchers. Such skills could be found for cheap, and with that, scouting staffs began to multiply and many ex-player General Managers were replaced by MIT grads and the like such as Tampa Bay Rays GM Andrew Friedman.

Now, defensive measures and stats like VORP and Wins Over Replacement (WOR) have found a place alongside the like of the RBI and ERA. After all, just how indicative is the RBI statistic of the value of a player. It's easy for Yankees first bagger Mark Teixeira to bat in 100 runs when he's batting behind the likes of Alex Rodriguez, but what about the player that bats well but simply does not have anybody on base ever? See what I'm getting at?

Talk about running off on a tangent. The point was that Jose Bautista is this year's front runner for MVP, and regardless of which statistical measure you fancy, they'll all indicate the same thing.

Book Of The Week: Ross King's The Judgment Of Paris

Before we get started today, allow me to apologize both on behalf of my incredibly busy schedule these past few days and for blogger.com, whose network was down for two days, seriously impeding my ability to communicate with the insatiable throngs of band news blog supporters.

As many of you know, I use this blog as a platform for various purposes, one of which is to share with the readers some of the better books that I've read. All of the previous entries in The Book Of The Week Club are publications I stand by and mention in hopes that others will give it the old college try. This week's installment is no different.

Ross King's The Judgment of Paris depicts 1860's and 70's Paris, a 20-year period that was unquantifiable in influence in terms of the arts. Amidst scorn from art critics and fans alike, many of the biggest impressionist painters of the time were beginning to display works that were a massive change from the standards of the time.



The title of King's book is not to be confused with Ruben's famous painting of the same title, which in terms of the context of this book, is quite relevant in itself.

King's research is impeccable and the text is at times so dense it requires a second reading. His true skill is in depicting a time with such complexities that you can envisage yourself walking the streets of Batignolles neighbourhood of Paris with Edouard Manet, his colleague, the famous writer Anton Proust and their band of top-hat sporting absinthe drinkers.

King's text follows the lives of two polarized painters; Ernest Messonier and Manet. Messonier was the world's wealthiest painter and received both large sums of money for his work and praise from critics. His work highlighted past generations and was so exact and precise that the realism spent months to perfect. Manet was the inverse - a painter who looked to break new ground by painting less for precision, and more to convey emotion.

After reading the book, it is amazing just how many influential artists from one period were actually friends and colleagues who knew each other lives and works as intimately as we do today.

Also, King covers the work of artists that helped propagate the era like Ernest Messonier and other such as Titian, whose influence on impressionism was as great, if not greater than others, only to have his name known exclusively by fans of the genre, and not by casual supporters who are well familiar with the works of other painters.

The Judgment of Paris also details the Franco-Prussian War, the Commune and the reign of Bonaparte as backdrops to a time that experienced great change. At the time, Paris was the world's capital for many reasons, least of which was a lengthy list of important and influential artists who would forever change the face of art.

The only regret I have concerning this book is that I had not read it whilst walking the streets of Paris myself. Having known what I do now, it's quite possible I could have walked the streets with a map, showing that I subleted an apartment just a block from Manet's first studio in the Montmartre arrondisement.

Read this book - it is truly an amazing work and one of the best books I've read in the last while.