The enjoyment and viewing of sports is much like cooking for yourself - watching them require both time and effort, however more often than not it turns out terrible. In the same manner that watching a sporting event for a second time has little to no value, my leftovers also have a shelf life of little less than a minute and a value of a little less than a homeless man's feces.
Trust me on this one folks, I watch a lot of sports, and as a result of this, I have witnessed many an event that left me questioning more than my interests and motivations. It's not unrealistic to assume that 9 out of every 10 Leaf games ends in disappointment, and much like my cooking, will only leave a putrid taste in one's mouth.
I don't really have the time to discuss the Raps, but besides Bargnani, not a single player would start on any other NBA team. Really? True dat - Even the Clippers. I'll take fat Baron Davis and rookie Eric Bledsoe over Jack or Calderon any night. Reggie Evans - thanks a million for all the rebounds, but having the ball traverse the cylinder and fall-through the mesh is actually the most important element of the game. It's called scoring and can be practiced both on the court and off the field (vaginal insertion of appendages, preferably the penis.) Actually, considering the aesthetic value of your face and that gnarley jihadesque beard Mr. Evans, let's focus on scoring in a game, and I'll try to pick-up your slack with the gaggles of groupies.
If only every game could provide that euphoric form of ecstasy that leaves many a men at the point of near climax, where that exact moment would be substituted in place of sex for a very similar result. Last week's Texans - Jaguars game provided a little of this, as Jags QB David Garrard's last second Hail Mary pass was batted-down and out of the end zone by a Texans safety, only to land in the arms of a Jags receiver. Touchdown. Game over. Coincidentally, the most euphoric and ecstatic play-by-play man on the planet no involved in Latin American football was covering the game. Thank God for Gus Johnson - we need more of you.
Here's a quick crash course on Gus Johnson - most are short, the Brandon Stokley one and Xavier - Kansas State finale is worth watching multiple times. Enjoy.
Xavier - Kansas State... Ignore the Ad... CRAWFORD FOR THE THREEEEEEEEEEEE
STTTTTTTOCKLEEEEEEY
Batista With The Catchhhhhh
Gus Loses It Following a Put-Back
An Al Harrington 3-Ball
Blowing His Wad on a Jamal Crawford 3
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