He searched high and low to no avail, only to arrive home and find a massive box sitting sealed in his foyer.
The foreman approached the box, only to be completely floored as the Newfie leapt from within the box, screaming "Surprise".
Often, things are lost in translation, and where one person may find humour, another person may not. Which reminds me;
Anyways, busy day today, but before I go I just wanted to impart some nuggets of wisdom for my people.
1) The Raptors are leading the NBA in first-quarter production and scoring. Considering how rubbish the team is, at first glance, this may appear a positive statistic measure of a sub-par squad.
Think again - The Raps are so shit that opposing teams don't lace their kicks until the second quarter. Patience is a virtue, and the league's other 29 teams are well aware of this.
2) Sunday's loss by Arsenal in the Carling Cup Final against lowly bottom-dwellers Birmingham City really took the wind out of my sails. Today, more than 24 hours after the ref blew the final whistle, I'm still left gutted by the result.
3) I overreacted about the whole Kendrick Perkins thing Friday. I went back and looked at some stats from 2008 when the Celtics won the championship, and Perk played only 18 minutes per.
He's a physically imposing character, but as a free agent at the end of this season, rumours had it he was looking for a contract somewhere in the range of 9 million a year. Once again, it seems in hindsight that Celtics GM and former Toronto Blue Jay Danny Ainge has made a brilliant move.
4) Finally - the other day, while sitting at the local Starbucks enjoying a cup, "Take My Breath Away" came on the digital satellite music service. After vomiting my Captain Crunch into the remains of my Caramel Macchiato, I came to the conclusion that the song is not about love and the effects it has on a woman, but on respiratory illnesses and the thousands of Canadians who experience such difficulties annually.
It had me thinking about weak-ass tunes and their ulterior meanings, such as Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On" and the preachy angle it takes towards promoting the cryogenic freezing of the heart.
Tomorrow, Scotty flies out to Kiev, Ukraine to work for a year. Let's all wish him a safe flight and a splendid time acclimatizing himself to the country. We'll miss ya bruh.
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