Rooney Stays Put

Didn't see that one coming. A week after expressing his desire to leave Manchester United, the stocky ginger goal-scorer from the council estates in Liverpool has signed a 5-year extension at Old Trafford.

Hopefully now Mr. Rooney can just focus on the pitch following a difficult month, with admissions of threesomes with working girls, all the while his wife Colleen sat-about pregnant eating Speculoos with a spot of tea and watching Corrie Street.

Apparently at least one City fan with access to spray cans didn't want to see him leave United for the neighbouring rival, and would prefer instead to continue signing ex-Arsenal players past their prime and the often injured from Spain and Italy.

I'm no expert on adversting, but what an awful advert - Rooney has the nose of a seasoned drunk in his late 50's and Rio appears to be giving fellatio to a line of text.

Man City - Arsenal Sunday on Setanta if you'd fancy watching the most graceful and eloquent football square-off against the most negative, inherently Italian tactics employed by City gaffer Roberto Mancini.