Thanksgiving

Following a week-long hiatus from non-fantasy sports related/career-minded Internet use, I return to the world wide waste with a note of goodwill. Happy Thanksgiving to all my Canadian people and a happy Columbus Day to my sister and my other American friends.

Today I felt especially thankful, while enjoying the remains of last nights dinner in sandwich form, watching Maury Povich with my brother. Man I love me some Mo Po - he's one poignant guy. I was reminded of just how fortunate I am to have a family unit rid of issues confronted by the guests on today's episode titled "I have triplets - and I'm going to prove you're the father". Estella is a mother of three from (insert any city with a hip hop pseudonym and Magic Johnson movie theatre) who is certain Morris is the father of her triplet daughters. Amidst a scattering a f-bombs and other choice profane words, Estella fires-off a tirade which implies that Morris must be the father, despite the fact she was also intimate with a handful, if not baker's dozen of other desirable unemployed men in the Detroit area. Enraged, Morris rebukes with a enlightened soliloquy explaining admittedly that he may be the father of one of the girls, maybe even a second, but definitely not of all three daughters. It seems Morris' understanding of vaginal insemination and the process of conceiving multiples is a little askew.

At this point, Estella's so angry her weave begins to spontaneously combust, and she angrily demands the results of the fraternity test. Maury looks puzzled, as if the envelope should contain the news that Estella has been selected to rush as a member of Phi Kappa Kanye. Nevertheless, Maury opens the sealed envelope with an agonizingly delayed precision that has both Estella and Morris stare in amazement with the visage of a Popeye Jones. "Morris... You... Are......... (either way, the answer will produce hysterics on somebodies part)... NOT THE FATHER!!!!!

Needless to say, Morris' reaction was one of sheer delight, and you know what - so is mine. I have so much to be appreciate and thankful for. Even on my darkest of days, when my moral is buried deep within the recesses of my soul, I can be thankful that I don't have nary a single prerequisite for being a panelist on Mo Po.

Happy Thanksgiving to all my friends and family, nay, Thanksgiving to the world and most importantly the kids - Trick lud da kiiids.